Why spend thousands of dollars on a trip for the family....

Just take the kids to Ikea and they won't even know the difference. And they will tell you in a whiny voice how we need to get there earlier next time so that we can spend MORE time there.

The looks on their faces and the "Aaaahhhs" alone as the elevator doors opened to the "happiest place on earth" aka the second floor, were priceless. You would have thought we were entering Cinderella's Castle. I almost swear I could hear the voice of Ariel singing ever so softly in the background:

"Ah ah ahhh......Ah ah AAhhh. Ah Ah aaahh Ah Ah aah Aahh aahh Ah Ah AAHHH!"

Seriously, here's my list of reasons why Ikea is like Disneyland.

1. The arrangement of the furniture into little "houses" is like a little kid's dream. Some even resemble something you might see in Mickey or Minnie's house in Toontown.

2. They have a restaurant with fine cuisine from around the world ( ok, maybe just Sweden ) like you might find at Epcot Center.

3. You can enjoy the long lines at the check out like you do at the park in the middle of summer.

4. You need a map to get around.

5. Your child has to be a certain height in order to ride the rides. ( in the play area anyways)

6. Your kids still get tired and cranky.

7. They have bins of useless trinkets throughout to entice your kids to grab them from seated position in the stroller and beg scream cause they gotta have it.

8. You can see how some of the pieces could easily be mistaken for Tomorrowland.

9. They have teacups.

10. The place is "Fantasmic!" and when you get home, you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation.

The mystery of the whatchacallit thingamajig

After having kids, I have resigned myself to the fact that I'll have to wait to buy really nice stuff. Like a sectional with a recliner and a chaise for my family room. Something like that would just get thrashed to pieces in an hour.

But a few months ago during my nesting phase, I splurged and bought me one of these except mine actually has FOUR bags instead of three. The extra bag allows me to put off doing laundry for an extra day or two. Totally worth it.

I love the four compartments and the ease of taking off the bags and hauling them upstairs to the laundry room. See, there are these metal whatchacallits that hook onto the sides that you can pull off and use as handles. But mostly, I was jazzed about my new found organization capability.

One day about two months ago, from the time it took me to take one of the bags upstairs and empty it into the washing machine, one of the whatchacallits disappeared. I'm thinking it had to be somewhere. I mean, seriously....we're talking from my bedroom closet, up a flight of stairs and then about 5 feet to the laundry room. I thought it might have fallen into the washing machine or something.


But no.

I spent the next twenty minutes tracing and retracing my path back and forth dumbfounded that a little thingamajig could just disappear like that.

Then I remembered I had a little two year old who decided he wanted to interfere hinder help me around the same time as the disappearance. I figured he must have wandered off with it. So I did what any mom of a two year old would do. I had to look in the most improbable places... like inside the DVD player, in all the drawers, in the toy box, in the pantry, the toilets, the dishwasher, the garbage.....you know.....places a two year old has been known to put things.


No luck.

I figured it was a goner for good and the odds of finding it were slim to none. I was pretty sad that my slick, new hamper just wasn't the same anymore.


Then yesterday, I see Mr. two year old banging something against the wall. I looked closer and realized it was my whatchacallit thingamajig!

Could it be?

I ran to my room and took an inventory of the ones I had thinking he might have swiped another one. I counted....one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.......they were all there except for one!

I still to this day don't have a clue where it was. I'm just happy I've got it back and in its proper place.

It's the little things in life you know.......

I am SO totally a mom

And here's why:

1. I walked through Target, Costco and Walmart with a dark t-shirt that accentuated the spit up stains on the shoulder and didn't even know it. And if I did, I wouldn't really even care.

2. I caught myself telling my daughter to be sure to also comb the BACK of her hair.

3. I finish off the leftover macaroni and cheese in the pan.

4. I can nurse one child, read a book to another child, listen to another child's story about how I'm supposed to pretend to call her and ask for a pretend makeover while tuning out my other child who is frolicking on the furniture making assorted noises all while watching my CNBC stock ticker scroll on tv and making a mental grocery list in my head. ( Now.....about that makeover......)

5. I have items like a Bumbo, a Miracle Blanket, a swing, an Exersaucer, a play mat, Boppy pillow and a bouncy chair that take up more space than real furniture in my family room.

6. A good day is when I get a shower in before 3pm.

7. An even BETTER day is when I can get two kids to nap at the same time, use the bathroom in peace, and take a shower ( AND shave my legs! ) without hearing, "MOM!?! MOM!?! MOM!?!".

8. I have a shelf in my pantry dedicated to boxes of cereal. ( And have foraged through the garbage to pull an empty box out because I feel guilty if I don't cut out the "box tops" )

9. I admit to telling my kids that the dark M & Ms are nasty and they wouldn't like them. Complete with facial expressions and all for added drama. Then I hide my stash in the #10 food storage cans in my cupboard.

10. I say things like "Because I said so", "Because I'm the mom", "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't even tried it?", and "If I have to come in there.....so help me......"

11. I changed 3 diapers yesterday within 5 minutes. All from the same child.

12. People magazines have been replaced with Parenting magazines.

13. I drive an SUV. With car/booster seats in every space. And two different types of strollers stored inside at all times. The double pain- in -the -rear- to- get- in -and- out kind, and the simple umbrella stroller. Depending on the need.

14. I buy the kid's Halloween costumes for the next year the day after Halloween when they are on sale. Then as we get closer to the next Halloween, I start laying the groundwork by saying how cool it would be if they were a "butterfly" or a "dinosaur" for Halloween this year!

15. I know who Hannah Montana, Drake, Josh, Zack and Cody are. I can also sing along to the theme songs from Blue's Clues, Dora, Go Diego Go and "Life is a Highway" from Cars.

16. You can never have too much construction paper.

17. I give in and will take the kids to McDonald's only because they want the cool, new, worthless piece of junk Happy Meal toy.

18. I only buy my kids shoes if they have velcro instead of laces.

19. The music played in the car is either a CD of kid songs or Radio Disney.

20. My monthly diaper budget is almost a car payment.

21. Activities and errands revolve around naptime.

22. My kids think that a "fancy" dinner is when I put hot dogs in the macaroni and cheese.

And my all time favorite:
23. Having a child say, "Where are you going?" anytime I put on makeup or a bra.


Feel free to add your own.

You do the math.....

This entry is inspired by my trip to Subway over the weekend.

Remember back in school and your teacher tried to convince you that you needed to learn math because you would use it everyday? And remember how much you hated math and that you retorted or at least THOUGHT that you could just use a calculator? As if I really need to know what Pi is or the inside angle of a rhombus.

Well, here's a couple of reasons WHY math is good.

I worked in fast food once when I was 16. It was my first real job outside of babysitting on Saturday nights. It lasted two months. Right after my first pay raise review when I was told that I was too "slow" at the register and I wouldn't be getting a raise was when I realized I would much rather make $2/hour babysitting than working at McDonalds for $3.25. You might think that it doesn't make sense because I was taking a pay cut. But the way I see it....not having to wear that chocolate brown polyester monstrosity alone was enough to make up the difference. My only real memory of working there that summer was when I was mopping the floor and a little old lady came up to me and told me about a young gentleman who had been eyeing me. She gave me a little wink and went on her way. I wanted to be flattered but then realized how creepy it was that a kid could think I was even remotely attractive in that hideous getup. Oh, and I do recall a couple of mustard and ketchup fights in the kitchen with my twin brother. That was fun.


Back to Subway.


I had a fairly large order to make. A couple of six inch sub combos and three kid's meals. There was a line out the door so I really tried to make it easy for the employee. Remember, I worked fast food before and know what kind of private torture it can be. I had the two six inch subs made out of the same type of bread and made all of the kid's meals the same sandwich. And when she asked if I wanted my sub toasted, I said "no" knowing that it would just complicate things too much. As I made my way to the register, I told the girl what I had ordered and to make the two six inch sandwiches combo meals with the largest soda. I knew it was a risk but I really wanted a large diet Coke. I was told that they ran out of lids for the largest cup size so I was stuck getting the smaller size.


Uh oh. Things were already starting to get iffy.


Remember.... two six inch combos and 3 kid's meals. $27.69 later, I mentioned how I thought that seemed a little high. I was expecting it to be around $18-$20. So, I'm doing the math. Two bucks a piece for the kid's meals. Maybe $6.50 for each combo. So, I have her show me the receipt and first thing I noticed is a double charge for one of the sandwiches. Of course she didn't know how to reverse my charge and neither did the manager. He told her to just give me cash back for the overcharge. As she starts to count out the $3.69, I didn't have the heart to tell her that it should be $3.69 PLUS the tax. I knew she wouldn't get it. There were percentages and decimals involved and it wasn't worth the quarter to explain it to her.

A couple of weeks ago, I went over to LA Fitness to look into a membership. I had a membership at Ballys years ago and know the whole schpeel. You have to go in like it's a car dealership. NEVER accept the first price because there is always something better. After the tour, the man sat down with me to go over the prices. His first offer was a $149 enrollment non refundable fee then $39 per month. So with all of the confidence in the world I said,"Awe come on! You can do better than THAT!" I was more interested in the one- time- pay- in- full -with- the- shortest- contract deal. He had to "talk to his manager." ( the 16 year old girl at a desk behind him ). I hear whisperings and a little note taking then some giggles. Then he comes back and tells me about the great offer his manager is letting him give me. Wow! I must be special!

Remember those annoying word problems? Well, here is an example where that little bit of knowledge might have helped Mr. LA Fitness man.

This was my deal. I could do the $149 fee plus only pay $25/month! OR, if I wanted to pay in full, I could pay $449 for a one year membership.

You do the math.

I showed him that $149 plus $25 per month for a year is the same as $449. It took him a few times of me explaining it for him to get it. He even had to use his calculator accessory on his computer. And when he finally got it, he said, "Well wow!.....I got busted."

Yes. Yes you did.

I'm a year older now......

Let us please have a moment of silence.


40 is like the new 25 right?

Oh What Do You Do In The Summertime....

I don't know why this stuck in my head but I felt impressed to write my own words to the song, "Oh What Do You Do In The Summertime?".

Ehem.

Oh what do you do in the summertime
When all the kids are home?
Do you break up the fights
And tell someone, "BE NICE!
Or you'll spend the day in your room!"

Is that what you do?
-- So do I.


Oh what do you do in the summertime
When all the kids are home?
Do you go to the pool
And try to keep your cool
'Cause your 4 year old doesn't want to take lessons?

Is that what you do?
-- So do I.


Oh what do you do in the summertime
When all the kids are home?
Do you sign the kids up for stuff
Basically just time filler fluff
In order to keep your sanity?

Is that what you do?
-- So do I.

Oh what do you do in the summertime
When all the kids are home?
Do you count down the days
Till you can sit in your chaise
And watch what YOU want on tv?

Is that what you do?
-- So do I.

Born to shop the market

I know I've mentioned my love of the stock market before. Some women love to shop. Others love to scrapbook. I love to play the stock market. I know I've also mentioned that I like to watch "Mad Money" on CNBC with Jim Cramer. Well, the other day, after hearing the soundbite "BUY! BUY! BUY!" on the show, my two year old was heard yelling "BUY! BUY! BUY!" My little prodigy in the making......

I'm always looking for the next great stock to buy. A good deal if you will. And, like women, when you come across a good deal, you have to share it with all of your friends.

So, I could hardly contain my giddiness when I read an article about how both DiscoverCard and Visa were planning to go public sometime this year! Since I bought Mastercard when they went public last May, the stock has tripled. I can only imagine what Discover and Visa will do when they ride Mastercard's coat-tails. And lets face it.....women KNOW credit cards. I think both stocks will be a big hit!

Screecher man is 2!

Neither of my two oldest kids went through the terrible twos. I never understood what people were talking about when they brought up how terrible two year olds can behave. Until they hit three. I remember thinking that while the advice was appropriate, they were just off by a year is all. It's really the tenacious threes that's the problem. They could talk back to me then.

Then I had Erik.

He actually did hit the terrible twos. Or maybe it was the tenacious threes, just a year early. It happened right after the baby was born. There was no gradual ascend. It was literally one day he was cute and pleasant, the next day........Holy terror tornado had entered the building.

He learned to screech. And I mean ear-piercingly shriek! If it wasn't for the fact that he's just so dang cute especially when he says things like, "Pees?!? Hab it?" and "Anks!" I might overlook his need to scream what it is he wants to drink and wants NOW. Because by golly, unless you want your ears to start ringing, you better get the drink right and do it FAST.

So he had his two year old kick off party to celebrate his inauguration into two-dom. And since he loves all things Elmo, of course I had to make him an Elmo cake.

Then we went to the park to take his annual pictures. The cutest ones I took within the first 2 minutes. Literally. Because that's the attention span of a two year old.

See what I mean? He's darling! But, he's also 29 pounds worth of a two year old.

Happy Birthday Screecherman!

What's in a name?

I discovered an easy way to know if a name is "trendy" or not. If it can be found embroidered on a pillow sham or towel anywhere in the Pottery Barn catalog, odds are, it's trendy. Who knew 5-6 years ago that people would fall in love with two of my children's names? Evidently, Lauren and Jack can be found on just about every page of the latest Spring catalog.

It's hard to come up with a good name when you're under pressure. We looked through every baby naming website we could find trying to come up with the perfect name for our newest little boy. Having three boys in a row makes coming up with the perfect name even harder. We became one of those parents who arrived at the hospital, having had nine months to come up with something, and not being able to agree on a name for our child.

Some names we could easily cross off of our list. The name Reilly for example. Some good friends of ours had a girl a few months earlier and named her Rilee. Two Reilly/Rilees in the same class at school and church would be a little silly. Lauren had two Taylors in her class last year. One was called the "boy" Taylor the other the "girl" Taylor. Besides, Reilly/Rilee/Riley/Rylee or any other spelling was too trendy. (See page 140 in the Winter '07 Pottery Barn catalog ).

Then there were the names I liked but were too "traditional" trendy. Names like Ryan, Alex or Nathan. Those were nixed by my husband. Not really sure why.

Then there were the silly "I-dare-you-to-name-your-child-that" names. Names that have either an apostrophe, a dash or start with "La" would fit in this category.

Since we knew our son would be born on March 21st which just so happened to be the first day of spring and the Vernal Equinox, I jokingly thought it might be an appropriate name. At least I thought I was joking when I mentioned the name to my husband. While he wasn't thrilled with Vernal or Vern, he actually did consider Equinox. Both were nixed by me. I'm sure I know why.

We finally narrowed it down to two. Ian or Colin. They were two names that were just different enough to not be considered Pottery Barn trendy or traditional trendy. And they were normal names unlike Vernal Equinox or LaWayne or even Noah-Lot. We surveyed people where ever we went to see if one name was more well liked than the other. We polled my on-line friends, our family and even my husband's co-workers at the work Christmas party. Heck, we even polled the nurses at the hospital! It was pretty much a toss up. They were of no help.

I decided that I wanted to "see" our little boy first before committing to a name. I guess deep down I was thinking that heralding angels would proclaim his name to me and I would say, "YES! That's IT!"

That didn't happen.

We knew we couldn't call him "boy" or

"The baby" forever. So, while still in my morphine state of mind, my husband's name choice won out in the end.

I'd like to introduce you to our newest member of the family.

Ian Kirk

Born 3/21 at 7:49am

7 pounds 15 ounces

20 1/2 inches

I suppose if we really wanted to be different and join the ranks of the Utah baby namers, we could have spelled it E-N. http://wesclark.com/ubn/

All I want for Christmas is a.....hematoma?

Well. Not really. But that's what my husband got whether he wanted it or not. And it's not really something you can return or exchange either. I'll spare you from the gory details and him of humiliation from mentioning where exactly on his body this is located. Just know, it didn't tickle.

Here we are in February, and a bulge on his right hip is still very noticeable.

You ask how he even got himself a hematoma? Well.....it had something to do with a second story and an extension ladder mixed with an engineer husband who thought he didn't need anyone to hold the bottom of the ladder for him. ( Even I understand enough about geometry and levers to know better ).

Let's just say we had the prettiest lights on our house in the neighborhood. I think he learned his lesson. Next year, we'll just put up a wreath.

Maybe.

BAD Mommy! Bad!

So, I'm pregnant.

That has been my excuse for a lot of things. Like not keeping up with my blog for one. It's also going to be my excuse for getting out of jury duty on March 7th. I'm entitled to use it as my excuse because I'm not one of the "lucky" women who just feels a little queezy for a month and then feels blissfully wonderful for the rest of their pregnancy. You know the ones I'm talking about. They are the ones who barely look pregnant at nine months ( or look as big as I do at 6 months ). Who go and get professional belly pictures taken ( no amount of photoshop could help my case ). Have their nursery all decorated by now ( this child will have the same as his 3 other siblings before him ). And who have their hospital bag packed 2 months in advance ( the night before is good enough ).

No...I pretty much throw up every day, have bad skin, mousy hair, insomnia, bad sciatica and complete exhaustion. I noticed that most of the time I walk, I'm arched backwards holding my aching lower back and mumbling "Owe. Owe. Owe." as I go. I have learned to use my toes to pick things up because of my huge-normous belly. There's stickers that Erik put on the tile floor that will stay there for atleast another 3 months because I'm not about to bend over and scrape it up. I'd pass out from not being able to breathe. Oh yeah, and multiple sinus infections because I can't breathe through my nose for the last half of the term. Blah blah blah. I'm surprised I'm having four kids with what I have to put up with for nine months. And I've realized that my pregnancies seem to make me a bad ( guilt ridden ) mommy. Here's why:

1. Laundry which may or may not be washed, folded and guaranteed to be wrinkled beyond comprehension, stacks up. My children think the baskets in the hall are their dresser drawers. At least that's where they look first.

2. I NEED a nap every day. I look forward to putting Erik down for his nap because I know it is also MY turn to take a nap. I don't even have to look at a clock. My body just knows it's 1pm.

3. Nap time to my four year old, means "quiet time." Which means, I sleep on the couch while he watches whatever he wants on tv. It's sad when he will actually turn the tv off because he's tired of watching it.

I know. I told you I was a bad mommy. It gets worse. I promise.

4. My 18 month old's first words? "Buzz" as in "Buzz Lightyear". His first song? "Spongebob SquarePants". Well, it's actually more like "Bunge ba bear 'ts". As soon as he hears it on tv, he will yell "BOB! BOB!" then attempt to sing along.

I know. Bad bad horrible mommy.

The amount of excess tv time might explain why when Jack was asked what we should name the new baby, he said, "Nemo" or "Tarzan".

I think we need a little review

Jack told me the other day that he knows how the dinosaurs became extinct.

Evidently, it is because Jesus used his karate chop moves and then his lasers made them disappear.


Looks like I know what we'll be talking about in Family Home Evening.

Coming Soon...

Wanna know how to get rid of telemarketers?

Let your 1 year old play with the phone and mess up the answering machine. Then you get to hear the telemarketer's conversation with the answering machine that goes like this:

Machine: Ba Da Da ((beep beep beep))
Telemarketer: Hello?
Machine: Da da da bababa ((Beep BEEEEEP))
Telemarketer: Hello? Anyone there? Ma'am?
Machine: Hey! Come on. Give me the phone.
Telemarketer: ( Click )


Sweet. It would probably work well for those midweek calls from a Bishopric member wanting to ask you to give a talk in church on Sunday.......

Jack is 4!

And what exactly does that mean?

It means that I can finally cut his sandwiches in FOUR pieces instead of three.


I reminded him throughout the day that it was his birthday and that he was now four years old. This is how the conversations went. All. day. long.:

Me: Do you know what day it is today?
Jack: YEAH! It's my birthday!
Me: That's right! How old are you?
Jack: I'm three.
Me: No. It's your birthday which means you're four!
Jack: No. I'm not four until I eat my cake.

I guess he's probably right. He WAS born at 8:10pm. Right around the time we ate birthday cake.

The cake. Ah. The cake. With baited breath you wait, eager to see the masterpiece I affectionately call.....

"The Birthday Cake".

I shall refer to it as a "she" as it was temperamental, unstable, and had a mind of its her own. The cake whos frosting oozed down her sides and puddled at that bottom because of the 115 degree heat. She wasn't exactly archetectually sound. Held up by toothpicks placed just about every inch throughout. Kind of like a "cake bra". But, in the end, it worked. Jack loved it and thought it was "cool". And really, that's all that matters.

FLaShBaCk FRiDaY!

So I thought I'd share a little story from my childhood with you.

When my twin brother and I were 7, the movie of all movies hit the big screen. This was not just any movie. This was THE movie that changed the future of movies as we know it. Can you guess what it was? This was 1977 by the way. Here's a hint:

"Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way!"

Man I wish I could figure out how to insert music on my blog cause I'd have the theme music blasting right now!

My brother and I wanted to see this movie so badly. Badly enough that one day when my parents had some friends over at the house, we decided that they would be perfect cover for our plan. So, we told our parents that we were going to go for a "jog". A "jog"? I mean....couldn't we have come up with something better than that? In reality, our "jog" was to the downtown Libertyville Movie Theater. Two hours later, we came out of the theater deliriously excited and couldn't stop talking about how that was the coolest movie EVER. We probably even talked about what action figures we wanted to get for Christmas and which would be better.....an X-wing fighter or the Millenium Falcon? And I'm pretty sure I know what we dressed up as for Halloween that year.

When we got to the end of our street, we realized that we needed to make it look like we had been jogging for the last two hours. So we ran as fast as we could for that one block. Red faced and out of breath, we went in the house to find our parents and their friends still sitting in the same place they were when we left. My brother and I looked at each other as if thinking the same thing.

"We really pulled it off!"

And then we played Star Wars the rest of the afternoon.

Gone fishing.....

Being summertime, I haven't been able to keep up on my blog as often as I would like. So, I've "gone fishing". Isn't that what they say when you're taking a break from something?

So I've gone fishing, figuratively. And gone fishing. Literally.

My dad found a box of old poles and miscellaneous fishing paraphernalia and mentioned he thought that it would be fun to take the kids fishing. Reminiscent of childhood. That father/grandfather/son bonding experience.

And because it was an overcast, breezy 105 degrees last week, it was a perfect time to go. So, we put together a picnic, packed up the tackle box and drove out to the lake.

Jack was unexpectedly patient. I thought for sure that he would be done after 3 minutes. Instead, he would ask every once in a while, "How long until the fish come?"

Lauren surprised me too. She was content just sitting on the bank. She really wanted to cast off all by herself. But I kept having flashbacks to when I was about 10 and cast off and almost used my Great Grandma who was 20 feet behind me as bait.
We heard my dad tell his tale about a goose who attacked him as a child and how he fears them to this day. Then, we saw the mother of all geese wandering the bank. Obviously, it wasn't a smart goose since there was a piece of a hook and some fishing line stuck in its mouth. We felt sorry for the poor thing. That is until it decided to attack Jack with wild abandon for a piece of bread he had in his hand. And being the pathetic mother that I am, I really did think that it was too bad I had already put the camera away. That would have been a great picture. But, kidding aside, it was nice to see the tradition of the Hagen side of the family continue.

Erik and I played it safe. And as you can see.....so did Grandpa.

When the cat's away....

The mouse goes to Home Depot for "Brown Teepee " and "Barn Door" paint and has her own "While You Were Out" experience.

When my husband goes on his business trips, I need a project to keep me sane , busy occupied. So, this last time, it was the kitchen, family room and powder room that were hit.

Here's the result:

I did a faux tile backsplash:

Painted the bay window area the red. I used wrought iron candle sconces as my curtain tie-backs and put a pillar candle as accents.
My picture wall is probably my favorite. I wrote the words "Laughter", "Honor", "Love", "Devotion" and "Dreams" around the pictures.The powder room: I took the inspiration from the French picture I found in the $1 section of Target. I wrote the french words of objects in the room like "L'image", "La Porte", "La Serviette", "Le Miroir", "La Fleur" etc. I had a plate/picture holder that I didn't have room for anymore so I used it as a towel rack. Martha Stewart......look out! There's another crafty one in the house!

It was even a fun bonding experience with Lauren. I did most of the work at night after the other kids were in bed and I would let her stay up late. I told her it was to keep me company which made her feel special. I didn't realize what I was setting myself up for though when I taught her how to use the remote. She can now access her movies on the DVR by herself. Not only that, but she can also "fast backwards" ( rewind ), pause, and fast forward her favorite shows as well. I can now quote the whole "Spy kids II: Island of Lost Dreams" movie.

Maybe I should teach her the "delete" option as well.

The evolution of language and other silly phrases my kids say...

When Lauren was a baby, she would get a lot of diaper rashes. Without really noticing it, daddy would calmingly say to her as he changed her diaper, "It's ok. Daddy will fix the owies with the white stuff on the bum." ( "White stuff" = Desitin )

When my daughter began to talk, she created her own version of this saying. At first it was "Daddy bix dee owie with da wee da bum."

And then it became, "Bix dee owie wee da bum."

And now three kids and six years later, we don't say Balmex/Desitin/Vaseline but rather a morphed version of our phrase. "Will you hand me the wee da bum?".

For Christmas when my daughter was about 18 months, she unwrapped a stocking stuffer that was in one of our stockings from my mom. It was a small, purse-size hand lotion. After my daughter opened it she said in a very disappointed tone, "Oh. Wee da bum." We all had a good laugh.

We're going through the "trying to understand what your three year old is saying" phase with Jack. One problem area he has is with his L's. I suspect if he were to have a conversation with a Japanese speaking person, they would probably actually be able to understand him. Lauren is "Roaren". Lake is "Rake". It's especially hard to contain your laughter when the conversation goes like this:

Jack shouting with glee: "Look mom! I'm crapping (clapping)."
Me: "You're crapping ?"
Jack: "NO! crapping !"
Me: "OOOOH! crapping !"

It never gets old. He used to have trouble with the "K" sound too which was unfortunate since all of the males in the family have that same sound in their name. He pronounced his own name "Jatch". Kirk was "Church". Erik was "Eritch". Kick was "Chich". (For hours of fun....see dialogue above)

Sometimes he has trouble understanding what we're saying too. For example, one Sunday I asked Lauren what she learned in Primary. She said, "We talked about goals." Jack then piped up and said, "And boys too!" Glad to see he unknowingly inherited his mom's wit.

We went out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday last night. YAY me! I'm now 36. ( Grunt. ) Lauren thought she would be a big girl and ask the waiter for a refill all by herself. Only....it came out "Can I have a refund?" This is the same girl who called the phone the "Ya Ya Ya" because to her, listening on her end it sounded like we were saying, "yea. yea. yea."

And now little Erik is saying a few words of his own. We're so proud he can say "Bla" ( block ) and "Da" ( dad ). For "mom", he just points. That's ok. He knows I have the goods and that's all that matters.

How I Survived My Summer Vacation.....

You might notice I added a ticker on the side of my blog. It's a temporary one. I only need it until August 9th. But I DO need it because we're only a week into the summer vacation ( which I use the term "vacation" loosely ) and I'm already going nuts. I had plenty of things going on last week to keep me and the kids busy. This week? Not so much.

When I was young, summer vacation seemed to last forever. Days were filled with fun, games, swimming and picnicing. Climbing trees, watermelon spitting contests, playing tag, catching fireflys, birthdays and staying out until the "streetlight" came on to let us know it was time to come in for dinner. The options were never-ending.

I suspect if I had to write an English 101 "What I Did Over My Summer Vacation" paper now as a 35 year old mother of three, it would probably go a little something like this:

How I Survived the Second Week of Summer Vacation
by The Mom

My alarm clock baby would usually wake me up around 5am. After his feeding, I generally could sneek in another hour or two to "sleep in". If you call 8:00am "sleeping in". (Funny, when you're a kid, "sleeping in" meant waking no earlier than 11am.) That is until the older two children woke up and were overheard arguing over the color of the plastic bowl for their cereal. One bowl is a dark green. The other is a light green. For some reason, the light green bowls were the only clear option if one were to eat Fruit Loops. One day, the dark green bowls ended up in the garbage. As did the plastic light green cups and plastic orange plates. I know. Completely illogical.

Once breakfast was over, and the baby was scrubbed down, hosed off, all nice and clean, we would have "quiet time" which meant the TV is turned off and we find something non roughhousing, fun to do. One day we played "Can you find?" where the kids had a pad of paper and a pencil and had to find objects around the house. For example: "Can you find three things that are blue?" They then would draw a picture of things that were blue. This game lasted about 30 minutes. And now, it's only 9:00am.

But it's still quiet time. Atleast there's no sound from the TV. But echoing through the house one can hear, "OUCH! Stop it! I'm telling Mom." Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. "MOMmmmmm!?! ( insert child's name ) is bothering me!"

Mondays and Wednesdays we have swimming lessons. That eats up a whopping thirty minutes on those days. And not a day has gone by where one or the other of my children has asked me while looking at the Coppertone Waterbabies Sunscreen bottle, "Why is that little dog pulling the girl's swimming suit off?" I don't know. I JUST don't know.

But so far, we have had some little accomplishments.

Lauren has learned a couple of new songs on the piano. She is also doing really well with her swimming lessons.

Erik is walking almost all of the time now and finally drinking from a cup/bottle. He'll give you "high 5's" and "wave" proving that he can be taught.

Jack has been my work out buddy when I do my Tae Bo video. (Which I will probably regret later on....) He likes to have me feel how "sweaty" he gets and feel his muscles. Must be a guy thing. Lauren worked out with me once when I did my pilates video and was sure to remind me that I could just "follow the one girl in the back if it was too hard for me." Thanks.

At the end of the day, well, it's the end of the day. And tomorrow is another one. And another. And another.......

I think even as an adult, summer vacation seems to last forever.