Why didn't I think of that?

I was watching "the Wiggles" on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and found it humorous that a group like "the Wiggles" were even ON a show like Jimmy Kimmel. As I was watching them sing and dance to their hit "Fruit Salad, Yummy! Yummy!" or something equally as grammy award winning, I couldn't help but think, "Why didn't I think of that?" I could be a multi millionaire if I had just thought about putting together a kid's show with a singing Dinosaur ( where have I seen THAT before? ), a Pirate ( ? ), and a Big Red ( made out of a refrigerator box ) Car. Why oh WHY!?!

So maybe I'm not smart enough to invent something like plastic or the surface insulation tiles on the Space Shuttle. But surely I could have come up with a singing Dinosaur because clearly, that never gets old.

If I had thought of it ten years ago, I could have set up a video camera in my basement, picked some Bach or Beethoven highlights from my CD, and filmed a bunch of baby toys in action. I could have filmed a neice or nephew with a stage name like Aspen or Willow, in their latest Gymboree line outfits singing the "ABC" song. Maybe I wouldn't have named them "Baby Einstein". But I think I could have thought of something equally catchy like "Baby Watch-and-Learn" or "Baby, Tell Your Parents To Pay $20 For A Video I Made In My Basement".

I'm pretty sure I could even write a children's book. I mean, there's what? Like 10 words total in a Children's book? My daughter has a book about Cinderella. It is a counting book where each page says a number and then the picture shows how many. "One slipper". "Two Coachmen"... Oh for the love of all things Seuss! I could write that!

Since having kids, I have found myself saying "Why didn't I think of that" with regard to some baby inventions. Disposable diapers, the battery operated swing, the all-in-one crib/toddler/child bed, individual formula packets, the snap-crotch onesies, the "Miracle Blanket", Boppie pillows, exersaucers and Bumbo seats. Absolutely brilliant!

Other inventions, on the other hand, I might put in the same category as "Boobah" or "Teletubbies". These would include such items as the "Why Cry" baby cry analyzer, the diaper genie and the baby wipe warmer.

I'm smart enough I could invent some uber cool baby gadget that would rank up there with the onesie or the "miracle blanket". I told my husband ( the engineer ) that one of these days, I am going to invent a better baby lock for cupboards. A gadget that uses something other than screws that not only ruin your cupboard but causes the above mentioned engineer to say naughty words. Or a high powered magnet that eventually will disappear and make the cupboard nuclear bomb proof.

I WILL do it one of these days. You can see me on the next "American Inventor" right next to the lady who invented the restroom door clip. That thing would have come in handy at the Big-D Gas 'n Fill the other week instead of counting on your 3 year old, who was more interested in the feet he saw in the stall next to us, to hold the door shut. Again, not rocket science. Yet I find myself thinking, "Why didn't I think of that?"

I'll be famous one of these days. You'll see. You'll all be impressed and think how cool it is that you know the person who invented the greatest baby locks ever. You'll all be thinking, "Now why didn't I think of that?"

For now, this genius of a mother needs to change a stinky diaper.

How do you spell trouble?

E.R.I.K.


Just look at that face. Where have I seen those eyes before? Oh yeah. Right before the folded laundry in the laundry basket were emptied all over the floor. I remember now.


Sure, he looks cute and cuddly.

And yeah, he likes to be held...most of the time... only by mommy. And of course his attention span is the same as a fly. And naturally I have little messes throughout my house that I spend much of the day cleaning. And yes, sometimes I don't have a chance to sweep the kitchen floor before he will go ahead and do it for me. And naturally that would be a whole roll of toilet paper that he put in the toilet. And a ball. And a sock. You're right! That IS a new tube of Desitin that is squirted all over the floor. And who wouldn't think it was fun to rearrange a towel cupboard in the kitchen? Or a tupperware cupboard? Or the bottom shelves of a pantry? Isn't it normal to read a Parents magazine with half pages torn out here and there?

He's just my little spring cleaning helper. ( As I keep telling myself as I clean up the Corn Pops he spread all over the kitchen floor. Must have thought he'd help me out by getting a head start on breakfast? )

Because it has just been one of those crazy crazy weeks, and I just don't have the brain capacity right now to think of anything blog-worthy to blog about, I decided to just show you some pictures and you can see for yourself what I'm talking about.

A tale of two teethies

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times......

Either way you want to look at it, my baby has teeth. And if you have ever nursed a child, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then the rest of this entry will probably be way more information than you really wanted to know.

I've known it was coming for a few months now. First there was the constant drooling. Oh the drooling! Who knew one little creature could drool so much!? We could always tell where he had been because he always left a snail trail of drool around the house. Then there were the irritable evenings and fevers. Then there was that first time. Those of you who know, already know what I'm about to say. I sense you cringing just at the thought.

There's that first time which comes when you least expect it....

(MUNCH!)

EEEOOUUUCCCCHHH!!!!

That scream, by the way, will scare the bee-jee-bees out of your 3 year old who is sitting next to you.

Let me explain what the next few seconds are like for those who have no clue what I'm talking about. As you sit there wailing back and forth mumbling some kind of inaudible naughty words, the child suddenly develops lock jaw. Nothing and I mean nothing seems to loosen the grip.

And the pain! This shooting pain starts around the chest area and travels to your toes hitting every nerve on the way down. One day, my husband came close to understanding what it feels like. I heard him screaming like a baby so I looked over to see our little "munch"kin using his leg as a chew toy and pulling his leg hairs out at the same time.

That's pretty close.

Two teeth have now become four. We've affectionately nicknamed him Spongebob. Still nursing too. Masochistic? Probably. I have had to come to the understanding that I nurse at my own risk. I just hope that the twitching jitters I get everytime he nurses will go away once he weans. I would hate to think that they are permanent. Unlike my sagging body parts which I'm pretty sure are.....permanent.

Lucky number 7

Scratch.....scratch.....

That itching is of the seven year variety.

Saturday, April 1st is our 7th Anniversary. Hard to believe! It's harder to believe we've been together for ten. Even harder? We've known each other for 16! Where does time go?

I was thinking about what kind of gifts we could give each other. So I looked up "the list" to see what you get someone for a 7th Anniversary. Ready for this? Wool or copper. Now living in about the hottest state in the country, a wool sweater wouldn't be the "coolest" of gifts. And copper? I heard that people with joint ailments feel better if they wear a copper bracelet. But that would just force me to admit I'm getting old and I'm not ready to go there yet.

Atleast it's not last years gift idea. Iron. Yes. Iron. Iron suppliments? A horseshoe? An actual iron perhaps? Which reminds me.....my husband was forwarned before we even got married that I. Don't. Do. Ironing. And he married me anyways inspite of his daily ridicule by his co-workers. So, could you imagine if he actually followed the Anniversary ettiquite and gave me "an iron" last year? Can you even imagine? I would like to think that men would do better thinking of something on their own than following that kind of guideline. A last minute box of candy and some flowers is a far better choice than giving the one you love an iron. Or suppliments. Or a horseshoe.

That's why, as far as I'm concerned, every Anniversary should be "gold and or any other precious metal or sparkly gem". Forget the clock or aluminum. Just keep it simple. Keep it easy to remember. Say it with me now....."Kay Jewelers". You can walk right on in the store and know that you could buy anything from there and call it good.

So, in honor of our Anniversary, I'd like to remind my husband of the reasons why I married him. In 7th Anniversary style:

7 reasons why I love you:

1. Your quirkiness

2. Your brains

3. Your humor

4. You love Coke products as much as I do

5. I rarely cook meat and you love me anyways

6. We have a lot of the same dreams

7. How you calm me and ease my fears

7 things I love that you have given me:

1. Lauren

2. Jack

3. Erik

4. A beautiful home

5. Just about anything I ask for

6. Yellow roses for my birthday and Anniversaries

7. My wedding ring and bands

7 things you have taught me:

1. Patience

2. Love

3. Respect

4. Commitment

5. That no matter how much you try......I will never like sushi

6. That it's ok to have "me" times

7. To be selfless

7 fondest memories:

1. December 23, 1998. The day you proposed at the Phoenician

2. April 1, 1999. Our Wedding day

3. The birth of our children

4. Our family Disneyland trip in February 2005

5. Our Anniversary cruises

6. Honeymoon in Hawaii

7. April 1, 2000. Moving into our first home

7 saddest memories:

1. Lauren breaking her arm.....twice when she was 2

2. Our miscarriage

3. Losing my Grandma

4. Moving out of our first home we built and loved

5. September 11, 2001

6. Losing your job the same week we were closing on our new house and when I was 6 months pregnant. Major stress!

7. Sending a child to school for the first time and realizing that they are growing up too fast

7 of our funnest or funniest memories:

1. Helicopter ride in Hawaii and the video to prove it

2. Taking Lauren all the way to Disneyworld when she was 3 just to hear her scream "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!" during every ride including "It's a Small World". She did like the airplane ride and the "Up and down nay nays" aka the carousel. It was a good thing she was "free"

3. Flying on a whim to New York City and being in Time's Square with a million of our closest friends for the December 31, 1999 New Year's Eve party

4. Walks down Mill Ave.

5. Hanging out in New Orleans

6. Winning the "twist" contest on our first cruise together

7. Seeing the excitement in Lauren and Jack at Disneyland

7 things we look forward to:

1. Retirement

2. Watching our children grow up

3. The time when you won't have to travel so much

4. Our "Golden" Anniversary

5. Taking trips together

6. Uninterrupted sleep

7. Being together forever

The last seven years have been full of joy and happiness with a little sadness here and there. I think of all of the memories we have made and the ones that lie ahead for us.

My husband keeps asking me if I have that "itch" yet. I keep reassuring him that the only "itch" I have is the kind that is itching for the next 7 years to be as happy as the first.

HaPpY Anniversary!

Bears and Bulls

And no. I'm not talking Chicago Sports teams.

I'm talking stock market world. There are "bears" and there are "bulls".

Bears are people who short stocks that they don't yet own hoping to buy them after the shares go down in price and then deliver them to the owner. They are pessimests and often skeptical. They are known for bringing the market down.

Bulls buy a stock with the expectation and hope that the price will go up. They tend to be optimistic and hopeful. They are known for bringing the market up.


Let me give you an example:

Bears might take a slowed economy, rising health care costs, rising interest rates and higher gas prices as a bad thing and cause a panic and sell off on related stocks.

While those data points may be true, Bulls might take a different approach and see an opportunity for future growth in stocks related to healthcare, banking or oil.


I've thought about it and realize that there might be a similarity between "bulls" and "bears" in the stock market, and the "bulls" and "bears" in life.

Some bears in life are pessimistic and skeptical. Sometimes, bears like to intimidate people and tear them down. They sell themselves and others short rather than look ahead and see their potential growth. They might see their glasses as half empty.

Bulls in life, are hopeful. They see the good in others and recognize their unlimited potential. They are encouraging and patient. They set long term goals with the understanding that growth takes time. They might see their glasses as half full.

Commodities in the market are things such as precious metals or life sustaining resources like grains, cattle or oil. These commodities can be traded or sold as "futures" which is a contract or obligation to buy the product in the future. To guarantee that payment will be made, futures often have a margin requirement that must be settled on a daily basis.

Isn't this a lot like our lives? We are commodities. We are precious and in need of life sustaining resources to survive. We have made a futures contract ourselves. It is with our Heavenly Father. This contract for our future states that we promised to return and live with Him again someday. But, like the market dictates, we too, must settle our payments on a daily basis. We can do this through prayer, fasting, paying our tithing, repentance and obeying the commandments. This takes commitment and patience. There will always be good days and bad days. Highs and lows if you will. Just like the market. But we must remember to never, ever sell ourselves short.

We need hope and patience with ourselves and with one another. Keeping our eye on the goal is the key. If we can understand that, then I believe the return on our investment will be far more than we could ever imagine.

Got snow?

Since my husband went out of town on business over my daughter's spring break ( Yeah. That wasn't a good conversation when I found that out ), I decided to venture out and take the kids up to the mountains to play in the new fallen snow. This was a big deal for me for a couple of reasons:

1.. I have never so much as even gone to Walmart by myself with three kids in tow before.

2. I grew up back east and remember shoveling my fair share of snow in below freezing temperatures while looking like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. I'd rather take three kids to Walmart.


Maybe I got a bad attitude about the snow from back in my single days. One New Year's Eve, a bunch of my friends and I decided it would be fun to go snow camping. "Thought" is the key word here. What on earth were we thinking? I had 100 layers of clothes and blankets on me and I swore all night as I layed wide awake that I was going to freeze a slow, bitter -cold death. It was the kind of cold that makes your teeth hurt. So cold, that in the middle of the night when I needed to go to the bathroom, I actually contemplated just using my sleeping bag because I could handle the humiliation more than the freezing cold. Funny thing was that my husband was there to share in the experience with me. But little did I know that 10 years later we'd be dating let alone getting married. It was one of those experiences we will talk about when we want to drive a point home to our children about not doing stupid things. That story and one about Co2 bombs.

But I digress......
It is nice to live where we do because if I wanted Jack Frost to nip at my toes, I know I just have to drive an hour to do so. Otherwise, my idea of "winter" is a chilly 70 degrees, a windbreaker and sipping hot chocolate because I WANT to not because I HAVE to.

So, we dusted off the "winter" coats, scrounged around for some hats and gloves ( could only find one pair so poor Jack used Erik's socks! ), packed some snacks and extra clothes, timed the drive during Erik's nap time, said a little prayer and off we went.








Erik had never seen snow before. I don't think he was real impressed about it either. Every picture I took of him, he had his tongue sticking out.

There's snow buddy like a Snow Buddy!

Like snowflakes....no two Angels are alike:

The Gang:

We had a fun time. We made snow angels and had lunch. We played "hide and seek" and had snowball fights. Jack never did quite figure out that when big sister throws a snowball at you, you should throw one back. Not run around screaming and crying. When it was time to go, the kids were ready. Jack kept mumbling something about "I miss home."

How does that saying go? Oh yeah. "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there."

Irony or dumb luck?

I heard the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic" on the radio the other day. The chorus goes something like this:

It's like rain on your wedding day.
It's a free ride when you already paid.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take.
Who would have thought? It figures.....

I wouldn't exactly say Alanis is a literary genius. If we were talking about a literary genius who wrote about irony, I'd refer you to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet or Macbeth.

But in honor of St. Patrick's Day and everything "lucky", I thought I'd point out how ironic it is that a song about irony is really just a song about dumb, stupid luck. A fluke. A coup.

A big bummer if you will......

It rained on our wedding day. Everyone at the reception told me that it was good luck to have rain on your wedding day. Of course, it could have just been an attempt to make the bride feel better. I wouldn't say it was ironic but rather dumb stupid luck that one of the 5 days a year that it rains here, it happened to rain that day. We did get married on April 1st which might actually be a better explanation.

If I was dumb enough to pay for a ride that could have been free, well then that would be my own stupid fault for not checking to see if I could get it for free in the first place.

I've been known to not take good advice as well. I wouldn't say it was ironic. Prideful or pretentious maybe. But not ironic.

Ironic might be something like what I experienced last night. It was the first night that all three kids were in bed and asleep by 9pm. Thinking I could get a good extra hour or two of sleep, I went straight to bed myself. Of course, I tossed and turned until 4:30am. That's what I would call "tragic irony".

And ironically enough, it was during that time that I thought of the topic for this blog.

Who would have thought? It figures.......

143

That's how many days it's been since we've seen rain in these parts.

Coincidentally, it's also how long it's been since I forgot that the car needs new windshield wiper blades. Which I'm sure will be forgotten again until the next rain storm. It's how long it's been since I forgot that I don't even own a raincoat and should probably get one for these occassions. It's also how long it's been since the car was washed last. It's nice how a couple of hours in the rain can take the bird doo doo right off!

It took 140 days and 6 hours before we figured out that we have a leak in our patio roof of our new home that we moved into in October. Which during these last 6 hours has now soaked through the wall in our bay window in the kitchen. It took 10 minutes to look up to see if the new home insurance covers roof leaks.

It doesn't.

And since this is the first rainstorm since moving to our new house, it is also the first time we learned that one of the two only roads out of the neighborhood gets blocked off because of flooding. I suspected it would be the case since I know there are 2 large dips in that old road and there is a yellow warning sign that says "Do Not Enter When Flooded". Of course, my kids think the sign says "Roller Coaster Ahead." The one remaining road is pretty much only for those with a 4 wheel drive and a wing and a prayer. Let's just say that if I was Catholic, I'd probably be inclined to say a few "Hail Mary's" before attempting to drive throught it.

So what does that tell us? Well, I guess we either need to get us something with a 4 wheel drive or else get a canoe.

Either that or we better get cracking on that food storage.

Jokes on you!

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Because that's why he got 2 sunburns cause he bonked into a tree!


Yeah. I don't get it either.


But if you were to ask my three year old to tell you a joke, odds are, that's the one you'll get. And he'll laugh and laugh as though it was the greatest joke ever! Forgetting that it was the 100 millionth time he's told it.

There's a lot of things that he does that I don't really get either. Like why a brand new box of Pull ups from Costco was emptied all over his bedroom floor. And a small wooden shoe was sitting outside the door. And when you ask him to explain it, he'll tell you matter-of-factly "because you have to walk on the britches so that the lasers don't get you. And the shoe is a magic shoe that protects you." Oh. I get it. Lasers. Magic shoes.


Or when he takes the treds off of his Tonka truck, wraps them around his head and puts his favorite snake "No feet" on top.


Or when he decides it will be so much more fun to take a bath in the sink instead of the tub.

Or he just has to be like his big sister.

Or that he and his sister liked to put our Qwik Trip soda containers in their clothes and pretend they were "backpacks".

Or why one day, he decided he wanted to be "Goggleman"

With all of the pictures I have as evidence, I wonder if he realizes that 10 years from now, the joke will be on him?

Sticker shock!

I think I've figured out why dinosaurs are extinct. Seen here is the Laurenpostistickysaurus.

Poor thing didn't have a chance when it came face-to-face with the yellow post it.


As you can see, my daughter has a sticker fetish. She's been this way since she was about 2. I think it started when we tried potty training. Every time she went in the potty, she got to put a sticker on her chart. We kept all kinds of stickers on hand for such occassions. Princess stickers, animal stickers, heart stickers, Dora stickers, bug stickers....you name it! She even learned that she could make her own sticker by putting tape on the back of a regular piece of paper. I have a bunch of llamas and red-eyed tree frog pictures on my refrigerator that she printed up from the Dora the Explorer website, colored and slapped a piece of sticky tape to the back. I also have souveniers of left over sticky residue throughout my house where I tried to peel off the sticker and only 2/3 of it actually came off.

So, when her Grandma Hagen gave her candy heart stickers for Valentine's Day, one can only imagine the fun that was had at our house. I didn't think Grandma would believe me if I told her where the stickers ended up so I thought I'd take a few pictures to be entered in as evidence.



















And the most pathetic one of all........















I guess I should count my blessings. Atleast it's not a sharpie.

My Olympic size commentary

Ahhh. The Olympics. A time for countries around the world to come together all in the name of good, clean competition and fun. And if winning a medal or breaking a World Record happens in the process, that's an added bonus.

Speaking of medals...I'm not sure if it's a gold medal or the Greatest Solid Gold Hits CD.

And speaking of greatest hits..... I think it's time for a commercial break:


((Video clip is showing Lindsey Jacobellis on her snowboarding cross medal race))

Announcer says:

Cost of snowboard: $500.00
Cost of lift tickets to train for the 2006 Olympics: $5000.00
Cost of hot-dogging in the medal round race while 3 seconds ahead and falling only to be passed by a Swiss: priceless





Now back to our regularly scheduled blog....


Is it just me or are our peeps just not represent'n this year? I mean, seriously? No wonder "American Idol" is kicking the snot out of the Olympics' ratings. I personally would much rather watch amateur Idol wannabes over some of the arrogant athletes we have representing the good 'ol US of A. Heck, I'll even admit to watching "Dancing with the Stars". Atleast they've gotten some better scores.


I will also admit to getting into watching curling. I'll be honest. I mostly started to watch it because it came on right after my "Days Of Our Lives". I still don't really know the rules, but I do know that watching it gives me incentive to sweep my floors. So my clean tile is a perfect "10".


Every Olympics has to have a controversy too. At first, I thought is was the great debate over how we should pronounce the location of the Olympics. Is it "Torino" or "Turin"? Frankly, I still don't have a clue.

But sure enough, that controversy seemed minor compared to the ones that lie ahead......


Where do I even start? There seem to have been more flops than shows on the WB channel.

First we have Bode "Miller Lite" Miller. I mean, sure he's a piece of eye candy, but good looks won't get you down a mountain if you have a hang-over from the night before. Maybe he could hide it because it was in one of those swishing from side-to-side events so nobody would even notice? His ego was the size of the motorhome he came in on. The point is, I don't think he medalled in a single race. So much for that Wheaties contract.


And then there's the train wreck called Johnny Weir. I saw the touchy-feely-tug-at-your-heartstrings interview NBC showed with him right before he performed his short program at Nationals. He said something about how "Republicans don't like me blah blah blah" and "people talk about me because I'm different blah blah blah." I'm thinking, "People? What people? I've never even heard of you until this very moment." Besides that, what does a Republican have to do with whether he lands a Salchow or triple lutz? He was so full of himself that I secretly hoped that my mojo would cause him to fall.....not so much literally, but fall from the imaginary pedestal he thought everyone had him on. He ended up in 6th place overall. Must have been that vast, right-wing conspiracy mojo.....


There's Apollo "OH NO!" Ohno. I guess he has a Gold, Silver and now a Bronze to add to his collection. I don't know. It just didn't seem like he was really trying all that hard to win. It just wasn't like I remembered when I watched him skate in Salt Lake City.

Time for another commercial break:

((Footage of Italian Ice Dancers and their fall.....Next shot is of the female giving a stare down to her partner ))


Caption reads: "Wanna get away?"



And we're back....

I am really bummed that Sasha Cohen didn't do better in her long program. And to miss the first two jumps! OUCH! I felt bad for her. But, I'm glad she got a silver. I was rooting for Emily Hughes too especially since her trip there was so last minute.

Aside from all of the controversy and disappointments, there's always good stories that come from the Olympics too. Joey Cheek donated both his gold and silver medal bonuses, a total of $40,000 to "Right-to-play" an athlete-driven humanitarian organization.

Now there's a real champion.

A "weighty" subject.

My daughter got on the scale yesterday and asked, "Mom? How much do I weigh?"

I looked and then answered "45 pounds".

Her reaction to this news took me a little by surprise. She replies to me in a high-pitched-disappointed-whiny voice, "OHHHhhhhh. But I wanted to weigh MORE than that!"

Come again?

I'm pretty confident that those words never have and never WILL fall out of my mouth. And I've got 20 post-pregnancy pounds that have taken up residence around various regions on my body to prove it. And that whole "it took 9 months to put it on, give yourself 9 months to take it off" philosophy? Well, that's as full of it as calories in a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream!

I'm trying though. Really. I am. I'm doing Weight Watchers again. By "again", I don't mean I fell off the wagon. By "again", I mean, I did it before I got pregnant with Erik. I must admit though that it has been a lot harder this time around. I've determined that whoever it was that invented ready-made cookie dough is evil. And that a family of 5 ( yes, I'm counting the baby because trust me... "4" will sound a whole lot worse! ) should never buy a Costco Cheesecake.

I actually feel bad right now because I finally got the baby down for a nap and I really did contemplate putting in my "Firm" video and exercising. But, where did I end up? Sitting here blogging about my weight and eating popcorn. It is the 94% Fat Free Kettle Corn. Only 3 points per bag in Weight Watchers speak. And I could have sworn I read somewhere that typing burns calories so I'm sure that must be worth an "activity point" or two. Besides, if I don't feel bad about what my driver's license says I weigh, I probably shouldn't feel THAT bad about it. Now, if I were to maybe adjust my scale a little in my favor....I might feel bad about that.

Watching the Olympics doesn't help either. Neither does watching the chicks on "Survivor" who were wiry enough when they got there and have to witness them getting more and more transparent every week. 'Cause seeing all of those people and their stellar in-shape shapes would be enough to drive someone to eat a Krispy Kreme or two, I'd reckon. Not that I've done that myself. I'm just saying......

For the love of a song!

Most couples I know have "a song".

It's usually something full of cheese like "You Are So Beautiful" or "Tonight, I Celebrate My Love." But, at least they have a song. My husband and I don't.

We don't even have some '80's hair band monster ballad like "When I See You Smile" or "Is This Love".

I'm not sure why we don't. We went to enough church dances while we were dating, you'd think we would. It didn't really even phase me until one night when we played a get-to-know-you game with some other couples and one of the questions was, "What is 'your song'?" I remember feeling ashamed to have to admit that we didn't have one. GASP! Every couple has 'a song'! I had songs for the guys I dated in high school. Naturally, something by Journey or Styx. I even know of some ex-couples who have a "break up" song like the popular anthem, "I Will Survive." So, I had to make one up on the spur of the moment. There was just too much pressure. So I came up with "500 Miles". Not exactly what you would call a romantic song, but it had sentimental meaning. I thought of it because it was a song that a band was playing as we were walking down Mill Ave. in downtown Tempe one night. The band was really good and I remember we got us some hot chocolate and sat and listened to them play for most of the night. It seemed like a logical choice and I was pretty excited at the prospect of actually being able to reply "of course we have a song!"

Evidently, that was my husband's and an ex-girlfriend's song. Of all the %$#&* songs it had to be THAT one!?!

So then I looked up the words to the song. They actually seemed ironically fitting and so maybe, just maybe, I can convince my husband to make "500 Miles" our song. If anything, just to put me out of my misery!

When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you.
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you.

When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you.
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you.

When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you.
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you.

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you.
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you.

Just don't try and convince me that every couple has "A movie" too. That's just way too much gouda for me to handle!

Happy Valentine's Day honey!

Life lessons learned in Kindergarten

Every day, my daughter brings home a notebook from her kindergarten class. In it is a page for the month with marks in either green, yellow or red. Green means she had a great day. Yellow means she had to get a warning. Red means...well...we don't want to really go there.

We moved a month after school started so Lauren not only started school for the first time in her life, but she had to do it twice within a month. I felt bad. I remembered what it was like being the "new" kid except I at least had a twin that I knew would be there with me. After her first week at the new school, I noticed Lauren started bringing home yellow marks with notes from the teacher saying "Doesn't complete her work" and "Doesn't follow directions". The momma bear in me first wanted to protect my daughter. "What do you MEAN? My child is perfect!" Then a few weeks later, Lauren came home with a note from the teacher along with a packet of work 18 pages long that she hadn't completed in class. The note said something to the effect of "Teach your children that they need to complete their work at school. This is not to replace their regular homework." I knew something wasn't right. I felt guilty because maybe she was having a hard time adjusting or making friends. But, being the type-A personality that she is, Lauren completed all of those pages that night without me having to say a word ( is that normal? ). Needless to say, her teacher was very impressed. Monday morning, Lauren was moved from the green table to the orange table.

It wasn't until I volunteered for the first time in her class that I understood why she was getting those yellow marks. Her name was Shelby. Shelby is a fun but very talkative little girl. The girl who wouldn't do her work without telling you first about her stuffed puppy or little sister. Being new, Lauren probably didn't know the routine and thought it was fun to talk to Shelby. But, the fact is that since she has been at the orange table, she has had green marks every day.

Amazing what a change in color can do for someone.

I volunteered again this last week. One of my jobs was to put a flier in the children's folders to take home to their parents. While doing so, I noticed the colored marks they had each received. A few of the children had a page full of green. Several had green splashed with a little yellow. Others had almost all yellow. I don't recall seeing any red. I know Lauren is obsessed with the color she receives for the day and is proud of her accomplishment at having a whole page filled with green.

So, I thought about those green, yellow and red marks and wondered about which color I would receive in my folder. I'd probably be worthy of a green mark if I accomplished the goals that I had set for myself that day. If I was able to get my work done in a timely manner. I might get a yellow mark on the days that I need a little extra push. Maybe I didn't play with the kids as much as I should have or didn't get done what I needed to do. Unfortunately, I probably have deserved a red mark or two as well. For those times I yelled at my kids because I was impatient or was short with my husband.

I thought about how different our folders might be from one another. There are some who probably would get a green mark every day. Some might have green with splashes of yellow. Others might have almost all yellow. Sadly, some may have some red mixed in as well. I thought about what it might be like seeing those marks in our folders serving as a constant reminder of how we are doing in our life. Are we progressing? Are we doing what we have been asked to do? Are we going the extra mile? Are we being kind to others? We all have distractions, or "Shelbys" in our lives. It's sometimes hard to stay focused on the things that we need to do. But making the effort to change those things we can change will give us the opportunity to better ourselves. And the wonderful thing is that once our page is full, we can start over fresh with a new one.

Amazing what a change in color can do for us.

TAG!

So I got tagged. And I have to say this was harder than it looked!

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. ProfessorMe
2. MusicalMom
3. SheBooksIt
4. Lee
5. Lisa

Next select five people to tag:
1. Steph
2. SuAnn
3. Jeannette
4. Katy
5. Bela

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Pay off the house
Invest
Take a long vacation
Set up a trust fund
Make a generous fast offering

Five bad habits:

Keep things to myself, don't make my bed everyday, impatient, don't deal well with stupid people, procrastinate

Five things you like doing:
crafts, decorating, playing volleyball, being a homebody, pilates


Five things you would never wear again:
bell bottoms, neon, plaid, the colors brown and pink together, polyester


Five favorite toys:
computer, breadmaker, stickermaker, camera, stamps

Get me to the church on time

The church meeting schedule in our last ward started at 8:00am. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to do the math and figure out how many times we made it on time. I'll give you a hint... you only need one hand to count.

So then we moved. We could hardly contain our giddiness when we found out that our new ward started at 10:15am. The perfect, blessed time. The time envied by others. Time enough for a little sleeping in, yet still have time enough to get ready. The time that gave you the whole afternoon for such Sunday activities like taking a nap or reading a good book. The time talked about when we had the 8:00am time saying, "If only we met at 10:00am. We would make it on time then!"

We were still perpetually late.

So, at the start of the new year, our time changed yet again. It is now 1:00pm. Along with this time change came a change in the length of the block. We only meet for 2 1/2 hours instead of the usual three hours. ( The church IS true! ) Yet here we are in mid February and we still can't quite get it together. Sure, I could blame it on the drive. What took us 30 seconds by car before ( yes, we drove even though we only lived 7 houses down from the church ), now takes us 2 minutes. We have a stop sign to go through now. That takes time.

It also takes more time because we have a baby. The baby needs to be dressed and fed before we go. I'm the only one who can really do that. So, it takes me longer to get ready. Even longer if I have time to put on makeup and do my hair. It takes time to make sure there are enough toys and snacks for the kids. Time needs to be budgeted for wardrobe malfunctions and the occasional pantyhose run...assuming I have time to put on the pantyhose. Then there's the "extra" time that needs to be added because Kirk has no concept of time. Then there's lunch time before we leave. Time it takes to load the car. Time for when we forgot something and have to run back in the house. And of course, time for the weekly tantrum from the three year old because he doesn't want to wear a sweater.

I need a nap. Is it Sunday yet?

He's crawling

My 8 1/2 month old is crawling.

That statement right there is enough to make other moms give me that nod and look of "Ohhhhhh" and show pity on me. That is because they know, and I know that this is the phase that takes "baby proofing" to a whole new level. Oh sure, if it's your first child, you can't WAIT for this milestone. When it's your second, third or more.....you hold off as long as you can. That's because you know better.

In my son's new found exploration, I have discovered many objects in his mouth. Enough that I decided to make a list ( *see previous blog ):

1. post it paper
2. balmex top
3. piece of cooked onion
4. a rock
5. a button
6. same previously mentioned piece of cooked onion
7. piece of tape
8. Polly Pocket outfit
9. Piece of a diaper
10. string
11. a barrette
12. rubber end of a doorstop


So what have I learned?

A. My child is a human vacuum
B. I have a filthy floor
C. Mom needs to pay closer attention to her child
D. All of the above

Anyone seen a brain around here?

I've discovered over the last 5 years or so that if you choose to have children, you also must understand that a few brain cells will be lost in the process. I'm not quite sure WHEN this happens. Maybe it is biological. Maybe it begins at conception or during labor. Maybe it's chemical. The laundry soap? Smelling too many nasty diapers? Maybe it's mental caused by constantly having to repeat myself. Heaven knows I talk like a blabbering fool sometimes. Heck, I'm lucky if I remember my children's names anymore.

All I know is that back in the day, I could keep a mental note of things to do in my head. Not to brag, but I could remember probably up to 20 things at a time that needed to be done. I was effecient, organized and driven. Now, I can't even remember if I brushed my teeth. And the only thing driven is my daughter when I take her to school. Just loading the dishwasher becomes a long, drawn out ordeal that goes something like this:

1. Open dishwasher
2. Stop to wipe baby's face
3. Remember daughter needs to get dressed for school
4. Smell something coming from baby
5. Diaper change
6. Take diaper to garbage but it is overflowing
7. Take out garbage
8. Notice a child dragged in sand from the sandbox
9. Get broom and sweep floor
10. Forgot to put another bag in the garbage can
11. See checkbook on counter and remember a bill is due
12. Write check
13. Lunch time
14. Make sandwiches
15. Clear lunch table and put dirty dishes in the sink.
16. Remember what it was you started doing in the first place

So, I've learned I need to make lists. You'll find these lists all over the house because I forget where I put the last list. I make lists for things like groceries and cleaning. I make reminder lists like when my daughter's snack day will be or her upcoming fieldtrip and a sub-list as an extra reminder that she needs to bring a sack lunch and money. I have my "to do" list for things like finding a babysitter and paying bills. I've even mastered what paper works best for my "lists." While I like the sticky post-it for short term things that need to be done, I have a pad of 4 X 6 paper that I find works best for those long "to do" lists.

The word must have gotten out about my great list making skills because I'm now the Secretary in the Relief Society Presidency doing, you guessed it... I make lists. Lists of the women, lists of birthdays, lists of who is pregnant, lists of who needs compassionate service, lists of email addresses, lists of who is teaching and lists of schedules.

sigh.

What was my point? Oh yeah....... How I've lost a few brain cells.

Latest addiction

I discovered something that is actually more addicting than Diet Vanilla Coke.

Stock trading.


It IS an addiction. The thrill! The excitement! The anticipation! I actually look forward to seeing the left side of my Yahoo home page every weekday morning to see how my portfolio is doing. I have a ritual. I close my eyes and say a little prayer that I will see more green numbers than black ones (green=good/black=bad). I find myself going through withdrawals every weekend and holiday…..longing for 7:30am the next trading day to come.

I’ve even implemented new words and phrases into my vocabulary such as, “buy low, sell high”, P/E ratios, volatility, the ”Google effect”, stop loss, dividend yield and diversification. I’ve learned some expletives too but I don’t feel the need to list those.

I see acronyms such as IPO, MOT, DNA and KO the same way I see LOL, ROTFL, BTDT and DH.

Since I started trading for myself in August ( shameless tooting of my own horn ahead ), my portfolio has increased 20%. Now, I’m not saying that all of my “picks” have done well ( Supertex comes to mind. My husband is never allowed to give me advice on stocks ever again! ) and I've had my fair share of "Maalox moments" but I think that’s pretty good for a first timer. I thought I’d list the ones that have done me well and maybe others could benefit from a tip or two.

Google ( GOOG )
Advanced Micro Devices ( AMD )
Allegheny Tech ( ATI )
Valero ( VLO )
Peabody Energy ( BTU )
Starbucks ( SBUX ) and YES… I own Starbucks.
Ralph Lauren ( RL )
Halliburton ( HAL )

You'd think we owned Coca Cola too with all of the Coke we drink but we don't.

My husband asks me every day if he can “retire” yet. My reply is always the same. “No dear”. It would be nice to one day make more in the stock market than his salary. One can dream…

In the meantime, I need to get some sleep. The market opens in 10 hours.

Which reminds me, I think I need to crack open another Vanilla Coke…

Cool

I'm "Cool".

That's what my 5 year old daughter said to me the other day. Now, lest you think my daughter a snob, I should clarify that "Cool" in this particular context wasn't used in the form of an adjective. Not even the slang term coined in the 1980's. No, this "Cool" was actually her pretend "name".

Lauren, my 5 year old, came to me the other day wearing my sunglasses. She informed me that she was NOT my daughter Lauren, but rather her name was Cool. When I asked Lauren, I mean, Cool, where my daughter went, she told me that she was at a hotel.

Ahhhh........ that makes sense.

My first thought was, "I'D like to be at a hotel right now." But, I digress.... I then informed Cool that Lauren needed to get her shoes on and get ready to go to school. Cool told me she would pass the message on to Lauren for me. She came back in the room without glasses on so I assumed she had gotten my message.

I made sure Lauren knew that Cool couldn't go to school with her. She was ok with that. Cool wanted to stay at the hotel anyways.