ode to moms

For all the cold meals you sat down to.

For all those snuggling naps on the couch.

For all the puddles on the floor that required a "smell test".

For the plays/songs/skits/reinactments endured.

For those clothes laying on the floor that were either clean or dirty. (see "smell test" above)

For the miles put on your car driving kids to daily activities.

For all the threats and time outs given.

For those moms whose hearts ache for their own mothers.

For those extra pounds that don't seem to want to go away.

For the times you went out in public with spit up stains on your clothes.

For those mothers who had a baby they won't be able to raise in this life.

For the many sleepless nights.

For those moms who went on a get-away vacation with just their husband but found themselves constantly talking about their kids.

For the moms who learned what battles were worth fighting.

I salute you. I admire you.

Happy Mother's Day!

The difference between boys and girls

From the time my boys could figure out the pincer reflex, they have loved cars. They love to run them on the floor, line them up in a row across the room and my least favorite, throw them.

My daughter, on the other hand, has enjoyed playing with her "baby" dolls. She's very possibly a better mommy than I am. Lauren's favorite doll is "Katie". The doll's name has been "Katie" ever since her friend, Loaryn, gave it to her for her 4th birthday.

This morning, Lauren brought down another doll she sometimes played with but not as much as "Katie". She couldn't remember if she had named this other doll and was asking me what a good name might be. Megan? Ella? Sarah?

We didn't have a chance to finish the conversation before heading off to school. When I got home, Erik took the doll and was "playing" with it. By "playing" I mean taking it by the arm and swinging it around and throwing it up in the air. Then he said he knew the perfect name for the no-named doll.

Really? What is it?

THUNDER BOLT!!!

Apparently, Thunder bolt makes thunder to get the bad guys and eats Capt'n Crunch cereal for breakfast.

I love President Benson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehD390q9G3k&feature=player_embedded


Brethren, if we had done our homework and were faithful, we could step forward at this time and help save this country. The fact that most of us are unprepared to do it is an indictment we will have to bear. The longer we wait, the heavier the chains, the deeper the blood, the more the persecution, and the less we can carry out our God-given mandate and worldwide mission. The war in heaven is raging on the earth today. Are you being neutralized in the battle?

As important as are all other principles of the gospel, it was the freedom issue which determined whether you received a body. To have been on the wrong side of the freedom issue during the war in heaven meant eternal damnation. How then can Latter-day Saints expect to be on the wrong side in this life and escape the eternal consequences? The war in heaven is raging on earth today. The issues are the same: Shall men be compelled to do what others claim is for their best welfare or will they heed the counsel of the prophet and preserve their freedom?

Edited to add this link to a really good article:

http://www.ldsfreemen.com/connor-boyack/prophetic-political-silence.html

Tax Day Tea Party!

Yes. I'm a right-wing God-fearing, food-storage-stockpiling, gun-carrying, capitalist-loving , returning-Veteran-hailing extremist. There. I said it. Now that you know, let's move on with my teleprompter-free blog entry......

I applaud those who feel "patriotic" by paying taxes. After all, Obama and Biden claim those who are wealthy can afford to be forced to pay more. Of course he's banking on the fact that no one will actually check their own tax returns to see that their charitable donations total less than 7% for Obama ( which is actually higher than his past contributions of 1-3%. He IS president now ) and less than 1% for Biden. I just wonder how "patriotic" these same people will feel when a couple of years from now, they will be paying 20%+ more in taxes, not to mention higher interest rates and massive inflation.

Ironically, this isn't a democrat/republican issue. For the life of me, I don't get why more liberals aren't up in arms over the spending seeing that they were complaining for the last 8 years over the money Bush spent. Especially knowing this new spending dwarfs any Bush did.

I felt like it was time to take a stand. I decided that I'm not going to be one who sits back and naively thinks there is no way our country would ever become Socialist. That is, until you wake up one day and realize we already are......

So I made signs. Several in fact, because I couldn't decide on just "one". I even made some for my kids to hold ( GASP! Rachel Maddow would claim I "forced" them because I'm a recruiting radical extremist ). I made a point to explain to my kids what the signs represented and I took pictures so that my children will understand when they are older, that I did what I could to fight for their future and freedom. At the very least, they'll be able to say their mom was an "extremist". How cool is that?

We went to the Gilbert Tea Party at noon and met about 1200 of our closest friends. It was so invigorating to see like-minded people with the same concerns, same values, same understanding that it's time to clean House ( and Senate ). I just wish I could have attended the one at the Capitol later in the evening. I've heard there is in the works, a march on Washington Sept 12 and another rally on July 4th.

In the end, it felt GREAT to be a part of the beginning of something big. And in the words of Yamamoto after his attack on Pearl harbor:

"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

Yes politicians. Yes you did.

"Never in the history of the world has there been a more profound need for leaders of principle to step forward. Never before, at least not in our generation, have the forces of evil been so blatant, so brazen, so aggressive as they are at the present time….
We are involved in an intense battle. It is a battle between right and wrong, between truth and error, between the design of the Almighty on the one hand and that of Lucifer on the other. For that reason we desperately need men and women who, in their individual spheres of influence, will stand for truth in a world of sophistry… We need moral men and women, people who stand on principle, to be involved in the political process. Otherwise, we abdicate power to those whose designs are almost entirely selfish.”

Gordon B. Hinckley

HoPpY EaSTer!

Easter Egg nests:

7 ounces marshmallow creme
1/4 cup peanut butter , creamy
1 3/4 tablespoons butter , melted-
2 1/2 cups chow mein noodles -
1 cup Peanut M&M candies

Directions

Add the marshmallow creme, peanut butter, and melted butter to a mixing bowl and beat until evenly mixed.
Add the chow mein noodles to the creamed mixture and stir in by hand. Stir mixture until the chow mein noodles and M&M's are coated evenly.
Using a heaping tablespoon of the mixture, drop a mound onto a lightly buttered cookie sheet. With buttered fingers, form each mound into a rounded shape and make an indent in the middle to make them look like little nests.
Add Peanut M&M's to each nest to make them look like they are filled with eggs. Set them aside to allow them to firm up before serving.

What happens

When you give your child cough medicine then try to play hide and seek..........

I think he was out by the time he got to 7.

Then what happens is mom has to take a picture of his plumber's bum.

I know. No dignity.

Happy Birthday Ian!

Ian turned two on March 21st.

And his favorite word is "No'.

I felt bad that I couldn't make his cake this year with my ankle surgery and all, so we resorted to a girly Costco cake instead. Contrary to how he looks in this picture, I don't think he really minded the purple and pink flowers.

We thought we'd try to redirect his throwing capabilities by buying him a mini basketball hoop.

Did I mention his favorite word is "No"?

Wordless Wednesday

Getting old

Not just my age. A few other things that are getting old:

1. My gray hairs. And realizing I have a lot more than I thought after taking a picture of my head from above. Dang.

2. The bear stock market. This also includes the monthly drop of our 401k causing my need for more chocolate consumption.

3. This child's constant screaming.

4. This:

and this:And not being able to take a shower:

5. 85 degrees in February/March. Sick and wrong.

6. The word "transparency".

And finally....

7. Tatiana del Toro

Don't know who I'm talking about?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CzwqwTMvvU&feature=related

Fieldtrip

Kirk and I were enjoying some adult conversation time we had penciled in on the calendar the other night after we put the kids to bed.

As we were talking, we saw out of the corner of our eye, something fluttering down to the ground from the upstairs followed by quick footsteps as we heard the perpetrator run away.

Curious, Kirk went over to see what it was. Then trying to contain our laughter read:

Not exactly what I was expecting since most of the recent notes my daughter has left me said something along the lines of "I want a dog. Please reply." Which is followed by a note stating I already have four kids.

We both quietly laughed and then I sat there actually thinking I wasn't really SURE why they call it a field trip if you don't go to a field. So, I tried to make something up that she might believe. Much like my parents telling me years ago that my hair would fall out if I kept twirling it.

I told her she needed to take a fieldtrip to her room...........

Miss me much?

I KNOW!!! It's been forever!

I have some pictures to show what I've been doing for the last month or so. Just so you know I haven't been slacking.

I went in for my ankle tendon reconstruction surgery on February 2nd. Groundhog day.

Here's what my ankle looked like right before heading off to surgery. We made sure to use a sharpie to mark which foot to operate on:

And what it looked like afterwards in the splint:

Lucky for you, I couldn't find my camera the day I went back to Dr. Doogie Howser to remove my splint and get my ankle casted. It was the nastiest, gnarliest, hairiest, smelliest, stitched up bruised piece of gross I've ever seen. The Dr. said it looked really good. Figures. I thought it looked like he attached someone else's foot.

WARNING: If you are eating, you might want to put down your food at this time.

Too much information ahead.

See, with this particular surgery, they made a 2 inch incision up at my calf to stretch/repair my tendon to my calf muscle. Then there is about a 6 inch incision from just above my ankle to the middle of my arch. This is where they took a tendon from my big toe to repair my torn tendon just above my ankle. Then I have a 2 inch incision on the outside of the foot at an angle that goes from the bottom of my foot to the back of the foot which is where they went in and broke my ankle bone and moved it about 1 cm so it was more "under" my body. Lastly, I have a small incision on the back of my foot where they placed about a 2 inch screw to hold my ankle bone in place.

I KNOW! Nasty!

I went last Friday to have the splint removed and put in a non walking cast which means crutches for the next four weeks. While I was at the Dr. I mentioned that my calf has been in a constant knot for about a week and is the most excruciatingly painful thing ever. He was concerned I might have a blood clot so he sent me downstairs to another office to get a STAT ultrasound. Unfortunately STAT to them meant at least an hour wait. Little did they know those were the WRONG choice of words to say to my Doctor dad who promptly told them where to shove it. We left and went to the emergency room at a hospital close to home. They did an ultrasound which luckily showed no blockage in my veins and no clots. The young lady who did my ultrasound commented about how it was nice that I had "skinny" legs because it made it easier to see the veins. LOVE HER! We got out of there just in time for the Friday night freak show.



I'll be honest. Along with the grossness of it all, the recovery has been, truthfully, the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Worse than my regular birth or 3 c/sections. Worse than my two kidney and gallbladder stone attacks. WAY worse. The first few days, my Oxycontin and Percocets weren't even touching it. Add to that my calf muscle in a never ending charlie horse and having to watch the downhill slide of our country since Obama took office, I've been pretty miserable.

About 11 days after the surgery, I was finally starting to feel like I was making progress. I've ventured from the bed to the family room where I see the same view, day in and day out.

The view in front of me with my cool "Suns" colored cast and sexy blood clot reducing sock:

The view to my left:

The view to my right:

The view right next to me:

And what I've tried to avoid climbing on me:

My office/nest/laundry room:

After the cast comes off, I'll be in a walking boot for six weeks then I'll start physical therapy.

I can't wait to shower again. It's the little things you take for granted.....

The moral of the story is: One should only attempt to do laundry at their own risk.

100 Day School Celebration

I have a smart son.

Today, Jack showed me his 100 day celebration artwork he made at school. He was proud of his 100 boxes of M & Ms he declared he could "eat" and I laughed at his wit when he drew a picture of what he will look like when he is 100 ( a mound of dirt and a gravestone ).

Then, with enthusiasm, he showed me the picture of what he wanted the most. 100 toys to go with the 100 bedrooms in the house with our 100 kids.

Come again?


I laughed. He was serious. I think..........

I told him I know we already have "100 toys" because I seem to be the only one who knows how to pick them up. I then tried to break it to him very gently that we would not have 100 kids let alone a 100 bedroom house.

I was impressed with his optimism when he said we already had 4 kids so......
"We could have them in sets of two. No....TRIPLETS! No WAIT! Uh, Mom.....what is 'four'?"

"Quadruplets?"

"Yeah! Or you could have them five at a time!"

"That's quintuplets honey. And six would be sextuplets and seven septuplets!" You learn these terms when you grow up in a family with multiples. Anything more than "twins" is considered a swear word and you may be struck down for even suggesting such things.

His eyes grew bigger and bigger with excitement as he anxiously danced around actually believing this was all possible. I wasn't prepared to have a birds and bees talk with my six year old with Dora blaring in the background. I just told him I was too old to have 100 kids then continued......

"And eight would be octuplets! And after that, I have no idea what it's called. Insanity maybe?"

Here I was thinking this was just a fun little math lesson until I realized he was really serious. So I asked him who would change all of those stinky diapers?

Being the smart, quick-wit child, he replied, rather quickly I might add, "Lauren can!"

I heard a stunned, "HUH?" in the background then got the impression Lauren wasn't too thrilled with this plan.

Jack then said, "Yeah! Lauren wants to learn to change diapers." And then he was gone..........

Told you he was smart......

10th Anniversary at Disneyland

We had a GREAT time! And note to self.........never EVER go to Disneyland again unless it is in the month of January. And while our anniversary technically isn't until April 1st, we figured we'd take the opportunity to go now since I'll be immobile when our real anniversary comes around.

We stayed at the Grand Californian Hotel right off of California Adventure. This was the lobby:

And this was our view of Downtown Disney:

And this dude from the ESPN restaurant, I swear, was Drake's twin:

In either case, they are both in need of a serious haircut. It was a crack up to watch him make his finger gestures I'm guessing directing people where the nearest exits were......

This is us right before our River Rapids ride. I was the lucky one to get the most wet and my hair wasn't the same the rest of the day:

Trying to get a shot of Main Street USA:

Until a nice lady came along and offered to take it for us:

I think we spent the most time on the Toy Story Mania ride. Kirk got the third highest score on one of our days there. I was ranked #5 on the Buzz Lightyear ride with my lightening fast laser speed action: And no, there is no shame in beating scores of the two year olds in line. If they can't stand the heat.....maybe they ought to stick with the Dumbo ride.

I got one of these:

While Kirk played Toy Story Mania with the dude who holds the high score. He got a few pointers then tried to hide those pointers from me until I pointed out that he looked like a cat with a canary in its mouth. He spilled a couple.......I'll share one with you: If you pop all of the balloons in the clouds together and within the same time, rainbow balloons will fall down worth 2000 points each. Just so you know.....

We had a lot of fun. It wasn't long after we got home and heard the first set of whining and complaining that we were shocked back into reality again. At least our Cokes are cheaper in the "real" world.......

I Don't have time for this!

I really need to be careful what I do and say around the kids.

The other day, I was frustrated that Erik couldn't get his act together when we needed to be out the door..... like yesterday. This, by the way, is typical. He wouldn't get dressed then when he did, it was slopped on by his semi-nutritious breakfast of Cinnamon Toast Crunch which meant going upstairs for a new outfit just to later discover he also didn't know where he put his shoes. Typical. And being typical, the typical response by myself is, "I don't have TIME for this!"

So, what does my three year old say to me when he didn't want to stop playing his video game? "MOM! I don't have TIME for this!"

Ok. I deserved that one.


The night before Kirk and I were leaving for our 10th anniversary get-a-way, I was doing laundry. That's not the typical part....... I was also trying to get little kids ready for bed. Typically, I throw their pj's over the stairs railing if I'm not quite ready to go downstairs that way they will be waiting for me when I am.

Typically, this trick works great. Not-so-typically, my youngest caught me and thought he would "help". The contents of a clean and folded basket ( sometimes typical but usually not ) were thrown over the railing.

And typically, I had to get a picture so I could blog it. My second most popular phrase?

"Not HELPING!"

Things to remember for next Christmas

1. Pay someone a million dollars to cut out the toys from their obnoxious, over-kill packaging.

2. If no one takes me up on my million dollar offer, be sure to at least wear gloves and keep naughty words to a minimum.

3. Don't put out my cute, breakable Christmas decorations.

4. Teach Ian that glass ornament balls are not to be used for throwing.

5. Buy more ceramic glue to fix said broken decorations.

6. Hide fudge from Erik.

7. Outside lights really aren't a necessity. Candles in the front windows work just fine.

8. The kids don't like mint flavored hot chocolate. Freaks of nature.

9. Karaoke machine from Craigslist = huge hit. Must buy more CDs

10. Ignore Christmas etiquette by leaving decorations up past Valentine's Day.

Merry Christmas!!!

See you again next year!

My new title shall be

The Queen of Good Intentions But Really Poor Follow-Through.

Does this look familiar?

Chore charts for your kids?

Thinking it will make your life easier while teaching your children the value of work?

Yeah. I have about five other waste of time charts I've started over the years. I generally come up with them right before school lets out for summer break. And every one of them have lasted a week.

But NOT THIS TIME BABY!

This one is for real............

As real as the twenty pounds I've had every intention of losing for the last two New Years Resolutions.

You gotta teach them young.........

Kids need to learn too.


Next lesson: Laundry