Friday, June 22, 2007

I am SO totally a mom

And here's why:

1. I walked through Target, Costco and Walmart with a dark t-shirt that accentuated the spit up stains on the shoulder and didn't even know it. And if I did, I wouldn't really even care.

2. I caught myself telling my daughter to be sure to also comb the BACK of her hair.

3. I finish off the leftover macaroni and cheese in the pan.

4. I can nurse one child, read a book to another child, listen to another child's story about how I'm supposed to pretend to call her and ask for a pretend makeover while tuning out my other child who is frolicking on the furniture making assorted noises all while watching my CNBC stock ticker scroll on tv and making a mental grocery list in my head. ( Now.....about that makeover......)

5. I have items like a Bumbo, a Miracle Blanket, a swing, an Exersaucer, a play mat, Boppy pillow and a bouncy chair that take up more space than real furniture in my family room.

6. A good day is when I get a shower in before 3pm.

7. An even BETTER day is when I can get two kids to nap at the same time, use the bathroom in peace, and take a shower ( AND shave my legs! ) without hearing, "MOM!?! MOM!?! MOM!?!".

8. I have a shelf in my pantry dedicated to boxes of cereal. ( And have foraged through the garbage to pull an empty box out because I feel guilty if I don't cut out the "box tops" )

9. I admit to telling my kids that the dark M & Ms are nasty and they wouldn't like them. Complete with facial expressions and all for added drama. Then I hide my stash in the #10 food storage cans in my cupboard.

10. I say things like "Because I said so", "Because I'm the mom", "How do you know you don't like it if you haven't even tried it?", and "If I have to come in there.....so help me......"

11. I changed 3 diapers yesterday within 5 minutes. All from the same child.



12. People magazines have been replaced with Parenting magazines.

13. I drive an SUV. With car/booster seats in every space. And two different types of strollers stored inside at all times. The double pain- in -the -rear- to- get- in -and- out kind, and the simple umbrella stroller. Depending on the need.

14. I buy the kid's Halloween costumes for the next year the day after Halloween when they are on sale. Then as we get closer to the next Halloween, I start laying the groundwork by saying how cool it would be if they were a "butterfly" or a "dinosaur" for Halloween this year!



15. I know who Hannah Montana, Drake, Josh, Zack and Cody are. I can also sing along to the theme songs from Blue's Clues, Dora, Go Diego Go and "Life is a Highway" from Cars.

16. You can never have too much construction paper.

17. I give in and will take the kids to McDonald's only because they want the cool, new, worthless piece of junk Happy Meal toy.

18. I only buy my kids shoes if they have velcro instead of laces.

19. The music played in the car is either a CD of kid songs or Radio Disney.

20. My monthly diaper budget is almost a car payment.

21. Activities and errands revolve around naptime.

22. My kids think that a "fancy" dinner is when I put hot dogs in the macaroni and cheese.

And my all time favorite:
23. Having a child say, "Where are you going?" anytime I put on makeup or a bra.


Feel free to add your own.


5 comments:

Lorena said...

You so made me laugh...this is totally my life!

I have been trying to think of some to add, but then I realize that all the ones you named are the ones I would have put down!

Tee-Hee!

Mom not Mum (Sandy) said...

LOL I walked the kids to school once and on the way home my friend says "is that baby poop on your shirt?" LOL It was!

lackrik said...

LOL! EWWWWWWwwwwwww! :P

Annette Lyon said...

It's as if someone has put a camera in my house, especially with the chocolate and bra parts. Fortunately, I can celebrate the fact that I'm now past the diaper era (WOOHOO!!!!!), but I remember it all too well, and can sing Dora and Diego with the best of them. Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

You're a mom... if you have to explain that cookies are not for breakfast... and then you sneak one after the child has left the kitchen. LOL