Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Nothing like an exercise DVD

like this one to show you how white and rhythm less you really are.

I'll be the first to admit that it's marketing at its finest. Slap a picture of a half naked Will Smith look- a- like on the front showing off his sweaty six pack. I mean, who wouldn't think that it genuinely works? Or at the very least, work better than the other "Abs of Steel" or "Six Minute Six Pack" videos collecting dust on my shelf.

Let me give you a tip. I can get a better workout typing a blog about "Hip Hop Abs" than actually doing it. I quickly learned that arms, legs and abs weren't meant to move in opposing, abnormal directions. I knew I wasn't doing something right when less than five minutes into the workout, "Shaun T" was sweating like a pig and I might as well have vacuumed.

So as not to seem like I didn't give this DVD a chance, let me break it down in a slanguage that some with the exception of my spellchecker, might understand.
Da DVD is whack, yo. Don't go spend'n Benjamins on it y'all 'cause it ain't kickin it like in the crib yo. True dat. But I want to give a shout-outz to the fly girlz yo. You go girlz! Word. So, instead of git'n dis DVD, go 'n git u some nice bling bling. If u know what I'm saying, give me a shout-outz and say, "Hey......Ho.....Hey......Ho!"
Guess tomorrow I'll vacuum.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Big Boy Room

Here's some pictures of my latest project. Erik's new BIG BOY ROOM! Yes. We still need to buy him an actual bed......right now he's still in the crib. But this will be his bedding:

His room is a Firetruck theme. I painted what's supposed to look like a ladder around the center of the wall. The red fire hats are those plastic ones that my husband got from a local restaurant called the Firehouse Grill by his work. Makes for a good decorating on a budget idea!

I still need to make the curtains but the material is sitting on the floor. One thing at a time........

Erik thinks his new big boy room is "Tool!"

Sunday, January 13, 2008

You MIGHT be the parent of a two year old if.......

If you've ever had a whole can of Quaker Oatmeal poured all over your kitchen and family room floor in the time it takes to fold a load of laundry.....you might be the parent of a two year old.

( side note: Why is it a child is quick to tattle on another for looking at them funny, but when a child is pouring the contents of a new oatmeal can on the floor, no one thinks to say a word to mom? This, kids, is one of those times when tattling is perfectly justified. )

If you've ever had your kitchen rugs thrown into a pile so as to not hinder the moving of the kitchen chair to the counter in order to find the candy stash....you might be the parent of a two year old.

If you've ever had a baby look like this thirty minutes into their normal two hour nap.....you might be the parent of a two year old.
I have a new motto:
Will trade two year old for chocolate cheesecake.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Engrish 101

I've been told that English is hard to learn as a second language. One reason is because many of our letters have multiple sounds like the letter "C" for example. Is it "c" as in Cat? Or "c" as in Cinderella? Or is it "c" as in how my 2 year old pronounces "c" which makes a word like "cool" sound like "Tool"?

We had a foreign exchange student from Norway many years ago named Oyvind. I remember he had a hard time understanding English phrases such as "Going to hell in a handbasket" or "The writing's on the wall" and probably more fitting, "What we have here is a failure to communicate."

So I can understand why English would be hard to learn.

To further emphasize this fact, my husband gets a Christmas card every year from a friend he knows in Japan. And every year I have myself a good chuckle at the Japanglish straight out of a Google translation website as I try to read and decipher the point she is trying to make. This year's letter was no exception. In fact, I think I laughed so hard I had tears..... I thought I'd share a little with you:

"My brother love painting. It went to Heian Jingu Shrine. A red is very beautiful. There was an event once in 20 year said, "OKIHIKI" in Ise Jingu Shrine. It builds a shrine once 20 year or it gets it. Ise Jingu Shrine where the god in the emperor family is enshrined purifies the tree used when rebuilt."

This is when I lost it:

"It went to the zoo in the family after an interval of years how many. It was not put in a dull as of old cage. It was bred as much as possible in the condition similar to nature. We enjoyed it like the child."

And that, my friend, is where we get the English phrase, "What we have here is a failure to communicate."

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Ahhh. Christmas Break

When does school start again?

This is a conversation that took place at my house today:

Me: Lauren, STOP kicking your brother!
( Lauren continuing to kick and brother yelling "OWww!")
Lauren: NO!
Me: YES! And you will spend 5 minutes in your room for every time you tell me "no."
Lauren: NO!
Me: 10 minutes
Lauren: NO!
Me: (flustered )20 minutes
Lauren: NO! Hey! It's 15 minutes! We're counting by 5's!
Me: Fine. 15 minutes!
Lauren: NO!
Me: You're up to 20 minutes now.........

(silence as she contemplates her predicament then picture me dragging her up the stairs to her room because she won't go on her own.)

After about 5 minutes, she comes back downstairs thinking her punishment is over. I told her she had 2 choices. She either spent the rest of her 15 minutes up in her room or she had to pay me a dollar.

She went upstairs then came back downstairs and handed me a dollar and told me she better be extra good because she didn't have any more dollars.

I'm thinking I just found me a new part-time job!