Hello. This is old age calling......

This week's conversation with Erik

ERIK: Mom.....what's this? ( pointing to my parent's corded phone )

ME: That's a phone honey.

ERIK: ( looking puzzled as he picks it up and checks it out) No it's not.

ME: ( Rolling on the floor laughing ) It's not? Well then, what is it?

ERIK: I don't know but it's not a phone silly mommy.

I suppose in all of his three years, he has never seen a phone with a cord before. He hasn't seen a camera that doesn't display the picture for a few seconds after you take the shot either. He also has never known a world that didn't have Spongebob or Elmo.

Phrases a mom never wants to hear

someone say when they call your cell phone:

1. This is so and so from the such and such public pool

2. Your son, Jack, just split his head open

3. He might need to go to the hospital

Honorable mention words a mom never wants to hear:

1. Ambulance

2. Fire department

3. Stitches

Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as the scenarios I had going through my head right after I got the call because all I remember hearing was "Split his head open blah blah blah" and "Ambulance blah blah blah". Once I got to see it for myself, the bad mommy in me couldn't get the phrase from a Monty Python movie out of my head. "It's only a flesh wound!"

It took a couple of stitches to put him back together again. He was a trooper the whole time. Didn't cry at ALL! He totally deserved the Sonic Blast afterwards.

You don't know hot

until the heat melts the heal of your shoe off. Or you lay flagstone in Arizona on the record breaking, hottest 115 degree day of the year and almost pass out.

Yep. In Arizona we have 3 seasons. "Hot" = springish, "Of course, because I just washed my car"= late summer/monsoon/fallish and "Are you kidding me?"= the rest of the year.

I forgot how hot 115 degrees feels. It's not pleasant. Especially when your fountain soft drink gets warm after 10 minutes in the shade. That's just messed up. Wanna know what 115 feels like? Go turn on your oven to 115 degrees, stick your arm in it for three months and while you're at it, turn on your A/C with a setting of a frigid 82 degrees (because 82 degrees feels "nippy" compared to 115), then gasp in horror when you open your preposterous electric bill that is as much as a car payment.....if you're lucky. That's what it feels like. Or blast about five hairdryers on high in your direction. That's 115 degrees with a "breeze" like we had today.......in the shade.

I know it's cliche, but honestly, after it hits 110, it's all the same. Eh. What's five degrees more? That's what the neighbor's pool is for anyways.

Happy Birthday to me!

This is the face of a 38 year old:

This is the Coke my friend Robyn brought me:

This is the dinner Kirk picked up for me:

This is my out of focus chocolate with chocolate filling Costco cake. Notice the 3 candles and a number 8 ( What? Did you really think I was going to MAKE my cake? Because, really....how do you make a cake that portrayed "Holy cow! I must be old because my daughter asked me if I had email when I was her age" well enough? )

This is the result of my previous blog hint:
These are my new orange and grapefruit trees

That I hope don't have the same fate as my tomato and spice plants:



These are drawer pulls and knobs that I hope to have installed some day:

This is the face of one WAY excited child:

As is this:
It was a great day! Thanks everyone!!!

p.s. Happy Birthday Brian and Uncle Dan!

Confessions

Admit/Confess/Divulge. Whatever you want to call it.


1. I drink diet Coke like a fish ( I know. Shocker. Have you seen my food storage? )

2. I don't iron



3. I've flirted my way out of a speeding ticket



4. I've never seen the movie ET



5. The older I get, the darker I like my chocolate


6. My daughter killed our friend's beta fish we were supposed to watch while they were out of town 5 minutes after it was dropped off at our house. She got a wooden spoon and "stirred" it. We spent the next week jumping from one pet store to another, with dead fish in a Ziploc baggie, trying to find one that looked just like it. The girl never knew



7. I drove with some friends on a whim to the Grand Canyon and three of the five of us thought it would be fun to ride in the bed of a pick up. A few hours into the drive, in February, we started to realize it wasn't such a great idea after all



8. I'm deathly afraid of heights and extremely claustrophobic



9. When checking out at the grocery store, I put my items in a specific OCD, neatly stacked and arranged order onto the conveyor belt



10. I got bucked off of a horse riding bareback at the stable next door to our house in Pennsylvania. I picked the one horse that wasn't broken in yet. My parents didn't find out until about 10 years later. I've had back problems ever since



11. I remember the combination to my elementary school lock. 19-34-12. I still have the lock


12. I would rather drink hot dog water than eat sushi


13. I haven't read a novel since my first child was born ( Who the heck has that kind of time unless you're a man and can lock themselves in the bathroom for 30 minutes uninterrupted? )


14. I actually enjoyed my c-section and recovery WAY better than the

( ehem ) "other" option. I especially enjoyed the 4 sometimes 5 days, if I could swing it, "vacation"


15. I can't wink


16. I color my hair

17. I still have leg warmers I wore in the mid 80's in my drawer. I'm saving them for an 80's night sometime

18. I discovered a whole new wardrobe now that clothes I haven't been able to wear in about 4 years finally fit again. The bad news is peasant shirts are now out of style.

19. I'm turing 38 on Saturday and like smelly lotions from Bath and Body Works

( how's that for a hint?)

Wordless Wednesday

well Poo!

So I took Erik to go "pee pees" in the potty today. We're still kind of working on the #2 part. He tells me "I'm thinking it's too hard." Okay. Fine.

I went upstairs to get the baby up from his nap and heard two flushes of the toilet downstairs. Intrigued, I went downstairs to see what Erik was up to.

He was standing in the family room bum naked and I asked, "Erik, did you go poopies in the potty?"

He replied with enthusiasm, "YES! I put the POOPIES in the POTTY!" Of course, I was a little skeptical and went to the bathroom afraid I'd have a mess that I really didn't want to have to clean up. But, I didn't see anything! He really DID go poopies in the potty!!!

We proceeded to dance and shout "YAY! Erik went poopies in the potty!"

I then looked around to put his big boy pants back on but only saw his shorts.

"Erik? Where are your big boy pants?"

With as much excitement as he could muster he said while pointing to the toilet, "I put the poopies in the potty mommy!"

Already knowing the answer to my question, I hesitantly asked,"You mean you poopied in your big boy pants and then put the big boy pants in the potty?"

"Yes! I put them in the potty then FLUSH!"

Well Poop. Guess we're not as close to being done as I thought.