Why didn't I think of that?

I was watching "the Wiggles" on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and found it humorous that a group like "the Wiggles" were even ON a show like Jimmy Kimmel. As I was watching them sing and dance to their hit "Fruit Salad, Yummy! Yummy!" or something equally as grammy award winning, I couldn't help but think, "Why didn't I think of that?" I could be a multi millionaire if I had just thought about putting together a kid's show with a singing Dinosaur ( where have I seen THAT before? ), a Pirate ( ? ), and a Big Red ( made out of a refrigerator box ) Car. Why oh WHY!?!

So maybe I'm not smart enough to invent something like plastic or the surface insulation tiles on the Space Shuttle. But surely I could have come up with a singing Dinosaur because clearly, that never gets old.

If I had thought of it ten years ago, I could have set up a video camera in my basement, picked some Bach or Beethoven highlights from my CD, and filmed a bunch of baby toys in action. I could have filmed a neice or nephew with a stage name like Aspen or Willow, in their latest Gymboree line outfits singing the "ABC" song. Maybe I wouldn't have named them "Baby Einstein". But I think I could have thought of something equally catchy like "Baby Watch-and-Learn" or "Baby, Tell Your Parents To Pay $20 For A Video I Made In My Basement".

I'm pretty sure I could even write a children's book. I mean, there's what? Like 10 words total in a Children's book? My daughter has a book about Cinderella. It is a counting book where each page says a number and then the picture shows how many. "One slipper". "Two Coachmen"... Oh for the love of all things Seuss! I could write that!

Since having kids, I have found myself saying "Why didn't I think of that" with regard to some baby inventions. Disposable diapers, the battery operated swing, the all-in-one crib/toddler/child bed, individual formula packets, the snap-crotch onesies, the "Miracle Blanket", Boppie pillows, exersaucers and Bumbo seats. Absolutely brilliant!

Other inventions, on the other hand, I might put in the same category as "Boobah" or "Teletubbies". These would include such items as the "Why Cry" baby cry analyzer, the diaper genie and the baby wipe warmer.

I'm smart enough I could invent some uber cool baby gadget that would rank up there with the onesie or the "miracle blanket". I told my husband ( the engineer ) that one of these days, I am going to invent a better baby lock for cupboards. A gadget that uses something other than screws that not only ruin your cupboard but causes the above mentioned engineer to say naughty words. Or a high powered magnet that eventually will disappear and make the cupboard nuclear bomb proof.

I WILL do it one of these days. You can see me on the next "American Inventor" right next to the lady who invented the restroom door clip. That thing would have come in handy at the Big-D Gas 'n Fill the other week instead of counting on your 3 year old, who was more interested in the feet he saw in the stall next to us, to hold the door shut. Again, not rocket science. Yet I find myself thinking, "Why didn't I think of that?"

I'll be famous one of these days. You'll see. You'll all be impressed and think how cool it is that you know the person who invented the greatest baby locks ever. You'll all be thinking, "Now why didn't I think of that?"

For now, this genius of a mother needs to change a stinky diaper.