Great with kids.
No returns or exchanges. Leasing terms valid only on a sixteen year contract. A two year old is not recommended for women who are pregnant or may become pregnant. Nursing moms should consult a psychiatrist prior to taking on a child of this age. Some side-effects may include gray hairs, broken DVD players, daily viewing of Shrek, snaking of toilets or excessive use of the word "no". A two year old may occasionally incite a sleeping baby or refrain from naps. If you or anyone you know has experienced one or more of these symptoms, take the child to a grandparent's house immediately. If a grandparent is not available, while not ideal, the use of Benadryl can and may be used as an alternate approach.
Assessing the potential risks and damage must be reviewed prior to attempting to potty train a two year old and should only be initiated when Spot-Shot and "rewards" are readily available. The use of ear plugs are recommended to ease discomfort in the event of an occasional outburst. If such an outburst occurs in public, it is advised to disavow any claim of said child. For best results, offer only brownies and chocolate milk for breakfast and lunch. A two year old may display erratic and irrational behavior at any time.
5 comments:
I don't think he's in our budget, but thanks for the offer!
I love the small print!
I'm not trying to steal your customers or anything, but I have a 4 year old who is potty trained, can make his own pbj, can sort laundry, scrub showers, put away spoons and forks, open his own string cheese and juice boxes, can put on his own seatbelt AND he does dog poo duty! All this for the very low, low price of. . .oh yeah, his dad says he is not for sale--he helps mow the lawn too!!!!
Oh my goodness! That's hilarious. You are such a talented writer. You are why people like me don't want to do a blog...how am I supposed to write anything nearly that witty. Very cute.
That was really funny. I liked the disclaimer at the end. I kind of want to copy you.
Hello! I am karen's friend, and I was shamelessly blog hopping, I have to say that this post is so hilarious! I died laughing! Thanks for starting my day w/ a laugh!
Post a Comment