Gripes away!

I'm just having one of those &%$@! days.


1. Hey you. Yes you. Lady with the teenage kids and can't remember what it was like having a two year old, who keeps turning around during church and giving me the "why can't you keep your child quiet" look every five minutes. Why do you think we are sitting in the very last row to begin with? I'm doing my best but my boy has neither learned to use his "quiet" voice yet nor taken his afternoon nap and wrestling him and a five month old at the same time isn't all that easy. Instead, maybe you or your teenage daughters might offer to help take one of them next time.

2. This is for all of you who don't know what to do at a four way stop especially when it involves a school crosswalk. And as if one lane of traffic in each direction was bad enough, try adding an additional lane plus a turn lane each way. Those lanes were officially added recently probably because people were just making up the imaginary lanes anyways, but now it's "official". If two cars arrive at the stop at the same time, the driver to the right has the right of way. Or in the case of the four way stop that I frequent when I take my child to/from school, it's biggest construction truck goes first, followed by a driver talking on their cell phone not paying the least bit of attention as to who was at the stop first, then after they have gone, it's the cars that are turning right into the parent pick up lane who can turn whenever they want because the stop sign doesn't apply to them. Then it's basically just a "free-for-all" for everyone else.....like me who is left sitting at the stop flailing my arms around at everyone saying, "Oh no. Please. You go first. Be my guest. I'll just sit here while those ten other cars turn right and block me from crossing."

3. No, Pediatrician's office. Contrary to what you are being told, we do NOT have a deductible for well checks. Have you SEEN what we've paid for previous six well check visits we've done this year? Do you not see that we only pay the $15.00 copay and the rest is covered by our insurance? I do not owe you an additional $500.00 which not only bugs me that you can't "fix" your error, but it shows me just how much my Doctor is getting paid for my having to wait an hour beyond my scheduled appointment time with four kids right before lunchtime while he spends all of 15 minutes with my child which half of that time was spent by me changing two poopy diapers. And then has the nerve to reprimand one of them because they are scooting around on his rolling stool in the 40 square foot exam room.

4. Yes! I just LOVE paying almost $3.00/gallon for milk. All in the name of growing corn to make ethanol in order to save the planet from its catastrophic deterioration of the ozone layer that will save the Polar bears in the "melting" arctic rather than feeding the cow that produces the milk I need to sustain my family of six.

5. Hey whiny five month old.....Chill out! I know this might come as a shock to you but you really don't need to be held every waking minute of the day. You should be old enough by now to learn to entertain yourself long enough for me to use the bathroom or fold a load of laundry. Let me introduce you to Mr. Pacifier. It's just a phase.....It's just a phase......It's just a phase......

6. Yo neighbor kid. What's up with coming over and picking out all of the marshmallows from my box of Lucky Charms? That's MY job.

7. Kids.....filling a big tupperware container with water and Honey Combs then freezing it into a big block of ice is NOT a yummy "treat".

8. This next one is a "shout out" to our former renters who decided to break their two year lease after nine months. And for the nosy neighbor I have affectionately nicknamed "Gladys" across the street who convinced them they were paying too much rent for our size of house. Interesting that we never got a reference call from your current landlord. Now I realize why. How is it possible for two adults and a dog to do more damage to our house in nine months than a family of five could do in five years? How does one back in their truck creating a hole from their tow hitch in the garage? How were you able to knock out and break an outlet like that? How did the bedroom windowpane get a crack in it from the inside? Did you really need to pull off ALL of the towel holders in the bathroom and the back door knob? I appreciate the fact that you tried to fix the RV gate that you somehow managed to break, but I think the scrap wood "bandaid" you used looks a little....how shall I say it? Redneckish? Thanks for trying to clean the carpet where your "most well-trained" dog left his presents but we could have done without the bleach stains that were left behind causing us to have to replace more carpet than we really wanted to. Although the stains go very nicely with the red wine stains you left us as well. What was that? A whole bottle you poured onto the family room carpet? Silly me. And to think I was worried people would notice the small pee-stain my potty-training two year old left on the dining room rug. Thank you though for making me realize that there is a reason why people have to rent.

9. Nope. It doesn't bug me at ALL that my scale hasn't budged in the last two weeks. Those chocolate chip cookies were totally worth it.